The Drake Digest

GAYNGS

2010-10-02T06:12:00.001-07:00

Justin Vernon (Bon Iver)
Michael Lewis (Happy Apple, Andrew Bird)
Zak Coulter (Solid Gold)
Adam Hurlburt (Solid Gold)
Ivan Rosebud (The Rosebuds)
Mike Noyce (Bon Iver)
Brad Cook (Megafaun)
Joe Westerlund (Megafaun)
Jake Luck (Leisure Birds)
Ryan Olson

Gayngs
w/ Glasser

Here's the link.

"Home" categorically

2010-08-02T15:55:00.000-07:00

Do you think it strange to feel at home while traveling? I mean of course the third category of the sensation--the first being when you are physically home in the house or area in which you grew up, and the second being with the people that necessarily make home, home.

Today I was contemplating home, running amidst a moderate-to-heavy rain--and not an annoying, windy rain but the kind that falls satisfyingly strait down--along a trail in a forested area when I came to a clearing. I was surprised to find my trail sandwiched between a corn field and railroad tracks and the smell of the rain-soaked corn in the breeze reminded me of home-home--of the first category.

But I realized today that I feel a certain sense of home when I travel. I'm not sure what it is, exactly. Something about exploration, the challenge, new things, new understandings... i don't know. I think you're beginning to see the third category of the sensation of home is a bit more nebulous than the first two. I felt another sensation of the third category today as well while I was running--albeit a bit further than I probably should have in my jet-lagged state. I occasionally feel this third category when I run and today I felt it so that I ran nearly the entire 4.5-5 miles with a smile on my face, despite the fact that I haven't ran that far (a distance I once considered average) in several months.

I'm sure you've felt it or something similar. It maybe wasn't while you were traveling or running in the rain. But it was while you were doing something and you had this sudden sense of intention, of being where you are for a reason and that you were meant for it. I don't know, but my hunch is this "third category" is the sense of an entirely other home yet to be experienced. I think it's a small sense of Heaven. God only knows.

OK GO

2010-06-19T08:54:00.000-07:00

After reading renee's post, I thought it appropriate to contribute this iconic (in my estimation) OK GO video.

here's the link if you're having trouble viewing...

2010-05-23T06:16:00.001-07:00

"Some wandered in desert wastes, finding no way to a city to dwell in; hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted within them. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way till they reached a city to dwell in. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works for the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things."

Psalm 107:4-9

2010-05-14T19:57:00.001-07:00

"I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen."

1 Timothy 1:12-17

Nailed 'em!

2010-04-12T02:21:00.000-07:00

So yesterday our new pastor gave this great sermon on Colossians 3:1-10. He got to me on something I find myself doing all too often. As Colbert would say, "Nailed 'em!" I know as a Christian we hear phrases like "you are redeemed" or even "Christ has died for your sins," and terms like "sin management" that can eventually lose their clarity and definition as they're thrown around in "Christianese" conversations and sermons. But the reality hit me anew this time.

Pastor Eric commented on our tendency as believers to spend so much of our time trying to deal with sin by countless hours of self-reflection on motives. We think that if we can just peal back layer after layer of causal linkages (my term) in our hearts and minds like an onion we'll uncover the source of our mistakes and sins and we'll eventually have them conquered. The problem is, like an onion, there's always one more layer to uncover and evaluate. We spend so much time in introspective analysis that we fail to get anywhere else--we become stagnant. That is so me!

Eric's point is we really aren't that complicated. It shouldn't take you more than a minute to reveal the quality and source of your sin and from there we are called to put to death, that "old self" or that "old man" (Colossians 3:3, 5, 9). That really begins by recognizing that it's there and then focusing on "things that are above" (Col 3:2). That in itself can sound kind of nebulous and vague, but it really is pretty simple.

This doesn't mean that we don't struggle with the same things over and over. We do. But it may not always be necessary to dwell on those things. "For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God... and put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator" (Col 3:3, 10).

The battle is already won. Live like it!

- L

April = Spring

2010-04-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

So the benefits of living in a slightly-more-southern region begin with the weather. You may recall that we experienced "snowpocalypse" since our arrival--but that isolated incident pales in comparison to the relentless winds and sub-zero temperatures of the planes.

In the past few weeks we have been experiencing almost summer-like temps in the 80's and 90's, which was nearly too much too soon, but things have settled down a bit this week into the 60's and 70's. Additionally, we've discovered how beautiful our area really is... flowers are blooming everywhere, the trees are green and blooming, it's great!

Courtney and I have been busy. True, it seems we (people in general) are always busy. But we've been on a two-week cycle of visitors now for a couple of months. It's been great, but we enjoy our weekends off :). Court's mother and grandmother were here for Easter last weekend. It was so great to be with family on Easter! ... and to enjoy the culinary repercussions of the event :)! We're still trying to finish the ham. I love leftovers. Anyway, we expect to have new guests again in a couple weeks!

We're also becoming more steadily involved with our new church, Redeemer Church of Arlington. We have been so blessed to connect with the people there and to arrive there when we did--the church is a new plant in its infant stages of development (they officially open their doors to the general public tomorrow, I believe). We've begun a six-week, weekly evangelism group started by a young couple at church and have enjoyed the discussion, the new people and the effect it's had on our lives. Tomorrow I meet with the musicians of our local body for the first time. I'm so pumped to get back into music and worship. Personally, I've been really blessed to get connected with some really solid guys in our church as well.

The jobs are going well. Courtney has her first theatre internship interview on Friday this next week--we're hoping that goes well. Still, she's enjoying substituting and is becoming more familiar with the schools, students, and teachers in the area who are beginning to request her when they need her! Work is getting increasingly busy for me as I get the hang of things and gain responsibilities--which is encouraging for me.

On a side note, I experienced Chick-fil-A for the first time last night with my wife and the Moores. Though it was an struggle to break through my initial adversion to fast-food joints of that kind, the food ultimately met with my approval. Pressure-cooked chicken sandwiches, nice.

Well, that's everything in a nut shell. Happy Spring! Cheers!

A Career?

2010-03-27T06:28:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while since I've posted, sorry, I've been meaning to for some time now. The crux of the issue is, life is good!

Work is going well. I'm still going through a lot of training, but that will be the case for the better part of this year. I like the people I work with, though, and I'm genuinely interested in what I'm doing. That's an exciting thing to feel like you've found something you want to do... and actually getting to do it besides! The weird thing is--what I did not foresee--was the realization that this could be where I/we end up. So much of your life, particularly in academics, is the sense that you're working toward a goal, a career that you want to do. You work hard to complete a class, a semester, a year, a degree, to move on to the next step, one closer to your goal. The thought then occurred to me a few weeks ago, "What if this is it?"

Now I realize this is extremely premature and short sighted. I only just got here! Also, the truth is there are a lot of opportunities and directions I can go from here. More mini-goals exist within a varied number of career paths. Heck, I may only be here a few years and then discover something completely new, or something related but for a different organization and/or purpose. But I think what hit me was the slightest sensation of panic at being trapped, "What if I'm locked in?" I work with people who have been there 25-30 years. My reaction to these people is a subconscious mixture of respect AND horror--"you've been in the same place 30 years?" Admittedly, people do this all the time. Maybe it's a distinctly generational mindset. Perhaps the 30-year-commitment-to-one-employer thing is less likely to be the case for me and my millennial generation compadres. Who knows?

Wow, I hadn't planned on writing this when I sat down, haha. All this to say, in my typical abstract fashion, I'm extremely happy (and blessed) to be where I am; and, I'm excited to see where all of this goes. Maybe I'll be 'here' for 30 years, maybe 5. But it's not like I'm signing my life away. I don't think this is "it." There's much more to come, and probably in places and directions I could never anticipate. God only knows. Thank God for that.

- L

Snowpocalypse 2010

2010-02-05T18:51:00.000-08:00

So we're currently under siege by a record breaking, 18-24" snow storm. We were sent home early from work today and the public schools didn't even open. I'm looking out our two-story window and the trees are so laden they look like they might fall over. I'm already antsy and bored anticipating a weekend indoors. I haven't done much beyond work all week and I'm feeling eager to get out and explore a bit. But, alas, the VW Golf will not permit it.

Which reminds me... our good friend and natural-born salesman, Jay Taylor, sold our snow beast for us last week (the GMC Jimmy). It was a great winter car but I don't know that it would have made it out here. We're missing it at the moment though. There are some advantages to being reduced to one vehicle. Insurance you say? Not so. Our insurance will actually go up now that we are both considered primary operators for our one vehicle even though I take the bus to work most days. This, unfortunately, is due to my big city driving habits that have not mixed well with small town police forces. Hence my less-than-impeccable driving record. No, the advantages of being limited to one vehicle relate mostly to gas costs and repair costs (hopefully) and licensing, etc. And, I get reimbursed for using the bus, so patience has its perks. Or maybe that's just government employment.

Well, I feel that in my boredom I've resorted to rambling so I think this is a good place to stop. Until next time.

- L

New Churches

2010-01-17T13:21:00.000-08:00

Two words sum up the church we attended today: parking garage. McLean Bible Church is huge! We didn't know anybody in this enormous church. The worship was a little too showy for our tastes but the message was really good and it seemed theologically sound as far as we could tell. We will probably look elsewhere next week, but McLean Bible is conveniently close to our apartment so we haven't ruled it out completely.

Long story short... we miss Grace Chapel :(

We're Really Here!

2010-01-15T15:45:00.000-08:00

So tomorrow will mark the end of our first week in Virginia. It's been an adventure to be sure. My father was here until Tuesday and my mother left today--they've been a huge help getting the apartment cleaned and organized, etc. It was hard to see them leave but I'm glad for their time here with us already. It's comforting to have your parents around--particularly in transitions. They helped us get so much done too. Of course there are a few minor things to do around the apartment yet. But these things inevitably take time.

The best thing by far about our location is our proximity to Trader Joe's (4.3 minutes). We are even closer to a public library (Court just got a library card) and about 5 minutes from one of the largest shopping centers I've seen... Tyson's Corner.

Today I tried out my bus route to work (I don't start till Tuesday)...start to finish, about 45 minutes. It involves a 9 minute walk up a large hill to the bus stop and then a ten minute wait between connecting lines to catch a different bus. It's really pretty simple and it drops me off about as close to the front door of work as possible. Today's virgin venture did involve some inquiries from those whose job it is to know the purposes of my business... note to self: always carry an ID.

So tonight, our first Friday night, we're laying low. We've been busy doing one thing or another all week but tonight is restful and I'm glad for it. We became netflix members today. I think that's a reasonable something to do when your social outlets have been diminished to about 1 or 2. I suppose we'll enjoy a movie tonight.

Right now I'm thinking about how I miss the closeness of so many friends. Not that I would even have to be with them right this minute--but I think to know that you can is a comforting thing. Still, the thought of friends makes me excited to have visitors, ahem, which then makes me excited to discover as much as I can so that I can introduce said friends to the new and exciting wonders of northern Virginia.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm glad to be here.

Back to the Blogspot

2010-01-08T14:29:00.000-08:00

Now that we're out of Nebraska, it's time to revive the digest!

We're workin' our way to the coast! After a long and only slightly treacherous day of driving, we finally arrived in Winfield to visit Dan, Sandy, and the boys (who I lived with in grad school). We had planned to hit the road again early today, but since we arrived later than planned and had no real need to be there today, we decided to spend the day with the Kruses and leave super early tomorrow instead. We hope to arrive in time to pick my parents from their flight in Baltimore provided it's not cancelled or delayed due to weather. It has been a nice day of rest, recovery, and puzzles--a great intermission to our road trip. Joseph, however, just got sick about 5 minutes ago. We hope not to take that with us!

- L

Learning Experiences

2009-04-15T05:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the encouragement! The presentation went pretty well. It was a bit smaller than I had anticipated--at least the presentation itself was.

The MPSA conference was set up over four days at the Palmer House Hilton about a block west of Millenium Park in downtown Chicago. The hotel was amazing, quite ornate, and buzzing with political scientists and professorial types wearing name tags that list their associated university in font too small to see without intrusively squinting--but everybody does, haha. I found the hotel, received my registration materials, and found my professor (Professor Kohen) without much trouble. We met for lunch at a nearby Deli to discuss the presentation before I decided to attend another panel to see how it was all done. Each session was about one hour and forty-five minutes and I believe they run 4-5 sessions per day. Within each session there were hundreds of panels each comprised of about three-to-five paper presentations grouped by topic. For example, ours was "Rebuilding Societies and Institutions after War."

So our paper was presented with a mix of other papers, each given about 10-15 minutes to inform whoever wanted to attend about the premise of their work. I discovered that this means for a panel to hold an audience of 10-12 people was pretty good. Including our chair/discussant and the other panelists presenting with us, we probably had about 10 or so people to which we presented, which made it a bit easier I must say. The chair/discussant was the person who directed the panel and had prepared comments in advance for each of the panelists. It's amazing the mix of people and papers you get even when it's all organized in this way. Even when people who attend or chair a panel have no real experience with the type of paper a presenter is doing or the region being covered, many still seem to think they can provide solid critiques and sometimes without having read the paper. It's a bit frustrating at times but Dr. Kohen had become accustomed to this and knew to take it all with a grain of salt. So when one particular audience member more or less accused us of cultural imperialism without having read the paper, (though I desperately wanted to defend ourselves) Dr. Kohen less directly responded to this critique. We did, however, gain some helpful feedback to further prepare the paper for publication.

Anyway, this has ended up longer and full of more detail than I intended. Shortly after finishing the presentation, I took the "L" back to Midway airport and headed back home. It was a ridiculously quick trip that left me missing Chicago a lot and wishing I had more time to spend there. But, as always, it is good to come home to the wife. The experience was a very good one, very educational... I would do it again.

Old Stompin' Grounds

2009-04-03T05:18:00.001-07:00

Tonight I head back to Chicago for the Midwest Political Science Association Conference at the Palmer House Hilton Hotel near Millennium Park. It will be a brief trip as I plan on returning tomorrow evening. However, this trip will mark a first in my political science career as I will be presenting a portion of a paper I have been working on with a UNL professor and one of his former students in Virginia for the past several months. It's exciting and a bit unnerving to think I will be presenting a political science paper to professors and grad students from all over the country who will probably know much more about anything I have to say than I do. Not to mention my general fear about public speaking. Still it will be a good and growing experience I have no doubt. For those of you not dozing off already... the paper is about developing reconciliation in post-genocide Rwanda. Fascinating stuff if you ask me--the kind of thing I hope to develop into a career at some point. Here goes nothin!

Banker's Hours

2009-02-16T18:32:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful to be a banker. For today, President's Day, is a holiday that has escaped the recognition of the public school system and yet remains a day of respite from the hazards and exhaustion of occupation (of the working kind) for me. Though I wish I could say I took advantage of this free Monday to soak in every ounce of justified laziness and lethargy, I cannot. However, I have managed to knock off a few items from my running and seemingly endless to-do list as well as a few more pages of "Moby Dick" which has been the bane of my existence for too many months to count--all of which are perhaps a bit more gratifying.

Part II

2009-02-07T10:10:00.000-08:00

In a recent sermon, I heard the early church described as liberal with their money but conservative with their bodies--Pastor Tim Keller was cited in this description I think. I was discussing this with a friend who responded with the query, “Is the early church something we necessarily want to imitate.” My response is a profound yes. Though certain cultural differences leave irreconcilable distinctions between the first days of the church and the church today, the calling and goals of the church have not changed. The early church understood something about that calling often missed in the western church culture--the call to serve the oppressed (among many other things unfortunately. Perhaps more on community later).

As a continuation of what was started in my last posting, let me relate this understanding of the early church to the present discussion. I was reading the forward of Tim Keller's "A Reason for God" yesterday, and I was again struck by his self-described, early struggle with the religio-political backwardness of our country. On the one hand, the liberal left who remains predominately morally relativistic yet concerned with social justice. On the other hand, a ‘morally conscious’ right who has all but forgotten the social injustices of this country and world. There's a pressure on moral grounds to assume sides. What could be more immoral than the oppressed? Don't misunderstand me, I maintain my position on the immorality of abortion and gay marriage. I merely think we, conservative believers--the western church, have been too conservative with our money and have forgotten our call to the social injustices of this world. Where 'the liberals,' the moral-relativist left who should have much less cause to pursue social justice have succeeded, the church-going conservatives have failed.

Matthew 25: 41-43
“’ I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’”

1 Corinthians 1:27-29
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him."

Malachi 3:5
“So I will come near to you for judgment, I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive aliens of justice, but do not fear me,” says the Lord Almighty.

Psalm 146:9
The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.

Isaiah 1:17
learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

Isaiah 1:23
Your rulers are rebels, companions of thieves; they all love bribes and chase after gifts. They do not defend the cause of the fatherless; the widow's case does not come before them.

It’s not about a political affiliation… it’s about what we should or should not be doing as the body of Christ. Conservativism, the political right, is too often equated with Christianity and the stances we are called to take as Christians in our society. Our calling as believers and as a church stretch beyond the the Conservative and/or Liberal platform.

Last week I heard the sermon by pastor Mike Hsu that seemed to put the final, missing piece into this posting: God’s desire is to redeem ALL of creation, not just souls. The gospel is more than the reconciling of souls to God, it’s about reconciling EVERYTHING to God.

Colossions 1:19-20

For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Romans 8:20-21

For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

Through the cross, this then would mean the reconciliation of relationships between conflicting ethnic groups and of souls to God. The redemption of the status of an outcast people restored to a society and an individual’s awareness of their need for the redemptive power of the cross.

Our calling is then not only for souls, but to pursue, through Christ, the redemption of creation—of all situations, circumstances, mishaps, misunderstandings, offenses, injustices, etc. … ALL things!

Getting Political... Hesitantly

2008-11-20T17:15:00.000-08:00

It's time. I've avoided it for long enough. I'm ready.

Let me begin by saying that this is not an effort to convince anyone to join a side. Political affiliation is not the issue, per se. Rather it is the desire to consider Biblical truths as a pretext to taking stances on issues deemed political--knowing where I stand and how I should behave in a culture that is inherently political. The issues considered in the political arena are, more often then not, real and important issues before they are political ones adopted by one or more sides of a contest. Deciding what we believe and how we will respond to that belief are more important than determining which team is right or better.

For nearly a year in Chicago, I was confronted with a decidedly liberal, academic-political culture, the substance of which (you may be surprised to hear) was not all bad. (This is where Johnny feels vindicated in considering me a 'closet liberal.' Which I do not believe I am.) However, I feel particularly justified in deciding for myself where I will stand in the matters of politics--particularly as I pursue a field of political science. I have grown up especially conservative in a remarkably conservative state and culture. The opportunity to encounter something different was and is (I believe) a healthy thing. Now that I have returned to Nebraska, I realize that I am now changed for it.

The liberal left, often cited with disdain in these parts as though it were the embodiment of evil, has a lot to offer Christians and the morally conscious among us. No, all of the things considered among the list of the 'liberal platform' are not in agreement with what I believe to be Biblical and of sound moral repute. Consequently, I am still quite certain that conservatives have generally done well in their stances against issues like abortion and homosexuality--though how they have frequently handled and promoted such positions are questionable indeed. But I digress. Where they have missed the mark and where many Midwestern Christians have also fallen short (in my opinion) is their (and by 'their' I also mean 'my') Biblical consideration for where we should stand on many economic, social and international issues. In consideration of these issues I am motivated particularly by a repeated, New Testament exhortation to the Church, to assist those less fortunate than ourselves...

(In an effort to do justice to what I am about to address, I'm afraid I must go for now. I want the time to think and word this well. Where might I be going with this? I appreciate any thoughts so far.)

Sociably Married

2008-11-16T06:57:00.001-08:00

Last night we had friends over, many of whom were married, and I was struck by how much this felt like a new phase in my life. Nevermind that in the last month I have been sharing a bed with someone else, constantly consulting that person to make decisions, and repeatedly encountering situations where I have to say no to someone because my time is better served elsewhere and for said other person. But hanging out with other married couples in our home, discussing things that married couples do--weddings, relating to each other, dealing with marriage difficulties, etc.--that was the impetus for my epiphone.

In my mind my life is fairly easily categorized into the social groups I have been surrounded by: Norfolk and its various subdivisions through gradeschool, junior high, and high school; Lincoln and the groups that seemed to subtly change each year as new people were introduced and old ones moved on; Chicago; and now Lincoln again... Lincoln, married. Now I'm starting to relate to people not as just myself, but myself as half of part of a greater whole... and I LOVE that!

I feel it necessary to mention that there are those people in my social circle have spanned many if not all of these social periods in my life, and for them things have not changed too much yet. The history understood between us is not quickly altered.

Overall, I am struck with the sense that this is good. I am where I am supposed to be. God is good. And, in that space of my mind, I am content.

The "Ol' Ball n Chain"

2008-11-10T19:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm married now. I have three weeks under my belt and so far, so good. The quiet, slow-paced honeymoon in Colorado was just what we needed after a hectic, wedding weekend. And now I enjoy having a wife to come home to... or rather, with whom to come home. Since I totaled my car more than a month ago, Court and I have been driving to work and home together each day. It's actually a great arrangement and really nice to have the same schedule. Doing day-to-day things together is a joy in marriage I've learned to appreciate so far.

However, this is about to change. I am excited to inform you all that I have recently received a promotion. As of November 24th, i will begin as the Full Time, Assistant Supervisor for the branch i used to work for before leaving for Chicago, N. 27th. With this change so will my schedule, leaving me all of two weeks to find another car. But, the raise will be nice and the opportunity to have a supervisory position will help the resume a bit. This position will require a lot more training and work, but it will be good for me.

That said, this does not mean I've abandoned aspirations of research and a future in political science. I'm still doing research for a political science professor, Dr. Ari Kohen at UNL. We're planning to present our publication at the Midwest Political Science Association Conference in Chicago, April 2nd-5th. The opportunity to do research and potentially contribute to a publication is huge for me. We're working on post-genocide Rwanda. I'm currently developing a theoretical distinction between political and personal reconciliation... and the greater necessity of the former for rebuilding Rwanda. There's a lot to do, but I'm enjoying the process.

Well, that should catch us up a bit. Hopefully the next post will come again soon. I'm also hoping for this to be less of a "this is what's going on in my life" type of blog but there usually seems to be so much to catch you all up on that I can't help it. Here's to more thoughtful, clever and eloquent future entries. Cheers.

Pre-marital thoughts

2008-10-12T15:31:00.001-07:00

So we're nearly there... less than 1 week till the big day. It's crazy when you get a moment to think about where you are now and how much that will permanently change after a single event. I believe I'm ready... as ready as one can be... but I also know there's no way one can be "prepared" for something like marriage--in the sense that I know I can't know exactly what to expect and how to respond to every event and situation that will come, etc. But I know God has been preparing me and supporting me through everyone around me in my life and particularly these last few months and years. I've already been challenged to the core a few dozen times in the last few weeks as Courtney and I have dealt with the stress of wedding planning and being in such close proximity to each so constantly even though we're not yet married or living together. Still, I'm excited to see how God changes me and her as we begin this new phase of our lives and see the things that God has already accomplished in us come to the fore in our life together.

Enought Said (for the moment)

2008-09-30T14:43:00.000-07:00

I'm getting married in two-and-a-half weeks.

Things begin to settle... for now

2008-09-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

I've finally found my routine, or at least the first inklings. It was lost for several weeks but I've almost found it again. I started working at Union Bank again last week. After enduring the monotony of refresher training and random scheduling through much the week, I will begin the 7:00AM-3:30PM shift tomorrow. I'm excited about the shift, but I think it will take a few weeks to adjust to 5:30AM alarm clocks again. I've also begun a few volunteer research projects for a young, professor Kohen at UNL in the political science department--for which I'm really excited. The opportunity to do research has made accepting the bank job bearable in many respects.

34 days and counting till Courtney and I are married... wow! There's so much to do, but things are coming along nicely. Apparently our reception hall that's currently being built, was behind schedule but they called to let us know they've caught up a bit last week. So... hopefully there'll be heating/air conditioning, haha. Marriage counseling and the 'Marriage Builder' class at Grace Chapel are in full swing and we're both enjoying those immensely. (BTW I apologize for the short window of opportuntiy to RSVP for the wedding... long story. We had intended to leave more time).

It was fun to attend Heather and Nate's wedding last night both for the joy in sharing in that experience with them and the anticipation of our own 'party' that'll be here before we know it. We're both genuinely excited to have all or most our good friends back together for a crazy-but-jovial couple of days.

Well, hopefully this new-found consistency in my life will mean a return to consistency in blogging... and to a better quality at that. Good to be back.

A Plea

2008-09-09T16:04:00.000-07:00

Oh attentive Blogosphere, forgive me for my negligence. Condemn me not for my busyness, nor for my inconstant behaviour. Patiently preserve your interest and forget me not in my absence. I will return.

The Long Transition

2008-08-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

It seems so much is still up in the air. No word on jobs as of yet. I'm now in plan B mode... find a job in Lincoln. Yes, it seems with the way things are going, Courtney and I will be in Lincoln for at least the next year. In some ways I'm a bit disappointed that the opportunities I have been pursuing out East have not yet moved anywhere, but on the other hand, I can see so many reasons why God would have us be here in Lincoln instead--our great church, closeness to family, friends, etc. All of these things could be helpful in our transition to being a married couple as well I think. Still, what that means for jobs is a bit uncertain. In all likelihood, it may mean working at the bank again and doing volunteer research stuff at the University. Best case scenario, I find something paid or a teaching position at Southeast Community College (I can teach now that I have an M.A., go figure). I would like to avoid working at the bank again if at all possible. But, it's an option all the same. So my day-to-day struggle remains trust in God's sovereignty over my job and the career I feel like I'm heading (or trying to head) into, given marriage, and our financial situation. Praise God that He is sovereign.

The Long and Short of It

2008-07-20T20:30:00.000-07:00

So I realize it's been a while... I apologize. The irregularity of my present life is making the regularity of blog posting an even greater accomplishment--of which I am having little success. So here's the long and short of it...

For the 4th, Court and I traveled to Minneapolis to visit our good friends Tate and Brenna with our other good friends, Jeff and Nicole. It was an amazing weekend, full of canoing and lots of eating. Good times were had by all.

Since then Courtney has been working like a dog and I have been trying to keep up. She was in Rushville, Nebraska for most of the last week teaching at a theatre camp. I've been working here and there, doing construction and landscaping stuff for my uncle who's building a new house in Norfolk. More recently, I have been refinishing decks and doing fix-it projects for a family friend at his cabin in Yankton. It's been great to get some work in the midst of the job hunt (still no leads, ugh) and in anticipation of the wedding.

This weekend has been great. After finishing one project at said cabin in Yankton, I traveled a mere six miles west of there to Courtney's family cabin to help them paint and do some fix-it projects there as well. It was a good opportunity to connect a bit with the future in-laws and earn a few points there, haha. It was nice to work with other people for a change as well. We had our fun too, boating on the lake yesterday and today. (I almost did a barrel roll on the tube... on purpose!) I only just returned from Yankton tonight and I'll be heading to Lincoln on Wednesday to recommence the wedding planning and job-hunt efforts... and to see my fiance for the first time in over a week!!!

Essentially my life as jumping from one place to the next only long enough to get somewhat settled before moving again. For those of you who know me well, this is not my ideal routine. But, God is good.

Even Better News!

2008-06-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

The phone calls have been made, family and friends contacted in various ways as best as possible, and now perhaps it is safe to notify the blogosphere... I'm engaged! I asked Courtney to marry me on June 14th, a Saturday, the day after my graduation. I prepared a picnic for us at a local park late that morning. It was her 22nd birthday the Tuesday before, so I gave her a few gifts to throw her off a bit, should she be expecting anything. We then enjoyed conversation and a light lunch for the better part of an hour-and-a-half as people occasionally passed. I wanted to enjoy the moment and not rush anything... also, I didn't really want an audience If I could avoid it. So I waited. When a moment seemed to present itself, no people passing by, I told her that before we go I wanted to give her a journal since I hadn't given her a card for her birthday. In it, I had written something from before we had even started dating. It was somewhat poetical and about who I wanted to be and the kind of girl I wanted to be with. She read it, I told her that she was the girl I wrote about in the journal, and I asked her to stand. Then it began to feel surreal. I got nervous. I stood with her and told her I loved her for the first time before grabbing the ring from my bag by my side and kneeling to ask her to marry me. She said yes! We kissed and laughed at the thought of what had just happened.

Arriving back at my aunt and uncle's home where I had been living, my family greeted us with Champagne and dessert. That afternoon we went off to enjoy wine tasting at a nearby winery and a play in Chicago that evening before some friends from the University met us at Jimmy's Bar near campus for a few drinks. It was an amazing and exhausting but completely wonderful day!

The next morning we packed up everything and moved me back to Nebraska. I'm home now, between Norfolk and Lincoln, wedding planning, job hunting, and enjoying family and my engagement. Life is very exciting (and sometimes scary, haha) right now. Praise God for moments in life like these!

Call Me Master

2008-06-14T04:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I graduated. It was incredible to be led by Scottish Bagpipes through the crowd of friends and families of the 2008 graduates into the outdoor, Harper quadrangle of campus. We were surrounded by ivy covered halls and a sense of the tradition that continued in the 494th convocation at the University of Chicago. The ceremony lasted about 2 hours. The speaker seemed to have a bit of a liberal agenda--OK, overtly so. But it was soon forgotten. It was forgettable. They honored one of my professors for excellence in graduate teaching, among a handful of others. They read each of our names as we walked to receive our diploma from the President of the University before the bagpipes led us out of the Harper quadrangle into the main quad and around the roundabout. It was good. It was memorable.

We then took pictures and convened at a champagne reception for my program and our neighboring MAPPS program, another social sciences program. The night was completed by dinner at Maggianos with my family, Courtney, and my aunt, uncle and cousins. It's an amazing Italian restaurant here in Chicago. We had a great time. The day was good.

Awkward Week Update

2008-06-10T18:42:00.000-07:00

The last week has been weird. I've been so used to being busy and overwhelmed with classes and a thesis, it's been a dramatic turn of events to feel so overwhelmingly bored. I have managed to keep myself occupied for the most part--finishing the new trim for my aunt and uncle's new window, finally installing the towel racks that have been sitting in boxes outside my room for the last six months, packing things to move home, running, lifting, and watching a lot of the Euro 2008 soccer tournament on ESPN360.com. Oh yeah, and I'm trying to start reading "Moby Dick." I feel like with all of this time, I should be posting on my blog more regularly, but I haven't felt that inspired to write without too much going on. I haven't really known what to do with myself.

But, there should be a lot to come. My uncle, cousins and I will be heading to the city to explore a bit tomorrow morning, so that will be fun. My family and Courtney arrive on Thursday, and My graduation ceremony is Friday--an outdoor ceremony on a potentially rainy afternoon, yikes. Sunday, I move home! There's plenty more to come.

Finally, today is Courtney's birthday! My beautiful girlfriend of more than two years, today is 22 years old! She has to work most of the day, but if you think of it, those of you who know her should e-mail or text her if you can. I know she would greatly appreciate it. Happy Birthday, Babe!

El Fin... for now

2008-06-05T06:42:00.000-07:00

As of 1:20 PM, yesterday, June 4, 2008, I am done. The whirlwind of the last 9 months has seemed to come to an abrupt end. Now, I am leisurely enjoying the Semi-finals of the French Open without the guilt of required reading and papers hanging over my head--a new reality to which I am still adjusting. The next week will involve packing and preparing to go home. The Graduation ceremony is a week from tomorrow, for which my family and Courtney will be here. Then i will return home to keep up the job hunt. I'm still in the process of applying to the CNA Corporation (www.cna.org) in Alexandria, Virginina, which seems to be promising. But I will pursue other avenues as well. I think it will be nice to return home for a little R & R before heading off into the next adventure.

So Close and Feeling so Far

2008-06-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

So I have two papers to complete and I'm done... well, one now really. I have a paper due on Tue. this week, which is pretty much done, and another on Wednesday which I am trying to write now. But writing these papers has felt like I'm pulling out my own teeth, to add to the euphemism. I feel like I'm forcing myself to write and fighting the urge to just fill space with words that appear to make sense but really accomplish nothing for showing actual thought and effort. What compels me is the desire to finish well... that and each of these papers alone is responsible for the grade I receive in each of these classes. Is this 'senioritis?' Why does this happen? Thoughts, please?

International Olympic

2008-05-26T14:56:00.000-07:00

I went out with a majority of my CIR colleagues to see improv at International Olympic (IO) in Wrigleyville on Saturday night. It was good to hang out with everyone. The improv was surprisingly good as well. I still need to check out Second City to compare. Anyway, below is a link to some pictures from the Saturday evening, both at dinner and the show. Cheers!

http://flickr.com/photos/joshuaswu/sets/72157605262896970/

I love this guy

2008-05-23T11:38:00.000-07:00

The Monkey's Off My Back!

2008-05-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

So life has been crazy. I was back in Nebraska the weekend before last for Courtney's UNL graduation. I drove back to Chicago last Monday and arrived Monday night to attend an information session for a potential job and class on Tuesday. Tuesday night I did laundry and packed again to fly BACK to Nebraska on Wed. night for my littlest sister's high school graduation. (I had booked the tickets weeks ago). First though, I had an interview at 9:00 AM on Wednesday for said potential job on U of C campus (the Center for Naval Analysis (CNA) in Alexandria, Virginia... it went well I think). The interview finished at 10:00, in time for me to make my 3-hour, 10:30 class. I had lunch and made my way by bus to the airport from campus. My flight was delayed an hour, but mind you I had a thesis due on Friday--I needed all the spare time I could manage. Courtney picked me up at the airport in Omaha and we made our way back to Lincoln.

Thursday and Friday were mostly comprised of feverish writing and editing. I finished my thesis and sent it via e-mail to my faculty adviser and preceptor at 4:00 on Friday in time to pack up my things and meet a friend at 4:30 to give me a ride back to Norfolk. IT'S DONE!! The weekend was full of graduation open house preparations, the open house on Sat. evening, and the graduation on Sunday--though the pace and work were much more enjoyable. It was really good to be home. Courtney was able to join us in Norfolk by Sat. evening and she took me to the airport on Monday of this week to return to some normalcy here in Chicago. Sheesh. I now have two papers to complete for each of my remaining courses in the next two weeks and then I'm done!! Can you believe it? Graduation's June 13th! The fam and Court will be driving over here for my Graduation weekend and then... I don't know yet. I'm still waiting to here about the CNA job and I need to apply a few other places. I'll do my best to keep you updated. Right now, I need to start a paper. Cheers!

Good Music

2008-05-14T12:37:00.000-07:00

Check out the new Death Cab for Cutie song, "I Will Possess Your Heart," from their new album (released yesterday), "Narrow Stairs." Great song. Great album.

Note to self...

2008-05-07T09:04:00.000-07:00

When possible, avoid asking a professor to be your thesis adviser when he lives in Israel nine months out of the year.

'Four Minutes' of Non-Art

2008-05-02T11:30:00.000-07:00

I want to take a moment to abuse this personal blog as a platform for opinions. Have you heard the recent Madonna/Justin Timberlake song, "Four Minutes" produced by Timbaland? It's awful. And, I feel as someone who has actually enjoyed certain, past, joint musical efforts by JT and Timbaland, I possess a legitimacy in the assertion. Besides possessing a nearly identical beat and song structure to past works, the song is completely devoid of lyrical substance or creativity. Granted, it's a song developed for the hip-hop/pop/dance genre. And, it is catchy--which is part of the point, I recognize. (Good luck getting it out of your head once you've heard it.) However, the line must be drawn somewhere. Even popular music should be held accountable to creative scrutiny at some level. There, I've said my peace. Back to the thesis.

Lake Front 10

2008-04-27T17:49:00.000-07:00

My friend Carolyn and I ran the Chicago Lake Front 10 this morning, a ten-mile race along Lake Michigan in the city. Carolyn's in my program at UChicago and the niece of Tim Keller, for those of you for whom that means anything. We got together with some other CIR friends last night for a pasta dinner/carb-load fest, then got up at the ***-crack of dawn to get parking before the race. (Hence the bed-head). Anyway, it was fun! I met my goal (1:04) and she exceeded her's, running something like 1:24. I'm in recovery now, trying to get some work done for classes this week (of course excluding this procrastinatory moment).

In other news, my thesis is due in less than two weeks and I present my draft to my thesis group tomorrow night--yikes!!!

Another Door Closed

2008-04-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

I found out this morning that I was not accepted for the International Alert internship position. It's disappointing to be rejected, but I had reservations about moving to London for another 6 months. So, I'm OK with it. Back to the hunt!

P.S. I finished and submitted the first draft of my thesis on Saturday morning!

Surprises and Opportunities

2008-04-15T10:01:00.000-07:00

Now into my third week of this quarter, things are off and running--even literally. I'm contemplating running in the Lake Front Ten, a ten-mile run along Lake Michigan here on April 27th. Though I have yet to officially register. It's prime thesis writing time so we'll see if I feel I can spare the time.

With the pressure of the end of my academic career quickly approaching (for now), jobs are on the forefront of my mind. I've only just attended a job fair on campus and talked to a number of government and non-profit organizations. Another important fair will be coming up in two weeks or so that I'll be sure to attend as well. I'm beginning to realize though, that internships will most likely be the route to take in my pursuit of a career. Many entry level positions in the job market I'm hoping to enter even require internship experience. That said, paid internships are few and far between. It may require that I just work somewhere to pay the bills and 'volunteer' for an internship position 15-20 hours a week.

However, I did just recently apply for a 6-month paid internship with International Alert, an NGO based out of London. So yes, it would mean working in London for 6 months. Simply put, the nature of the position is ideal. It's a research assistant position, aiding the secretary general in international research, collecting sources and compiling bibliographies over regions of conflict all over the world in a effort to develop solutions for peace. Check out http://www.international-alert.org/ if you want more details. Basically, the position is a step toward what I really want to do. I'm not sure when I'll know if I'm accepted or not or even if I'll take it if I am accepted. Though from what I understand of it, I think it's a pretty good example of what I would like to do. I will do my best to keep you updated.

In other news, I flew home (Lincoln) this weekend to surprise Courtney and attend the final production of her UNL career. I hadn't made a show yet this year--it was fun to see her perform again. She did very well; and she was very surprised. It was a quick trip, but really good to see her and family as well. I had a lot of time with my parents (which was a good thing) who picked me up from the airport as well as my extended family--we celebrated my grandparents' 60th anniversary in Beatrice on Sunday afternoon.

Well, I should probably go. My first draft of my thesis is due Friday and I have quite a bit to do--so I'll be busy. Hope this finds you all well!

Baking with my Courtney (SB '08!)

2008-04-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

On my way

2008-04-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

My third and final quarter officially commenced this week, and after much deliberation I think I've finally nailed down my last courses! Due to limits on the size of the seminar, I'll find out at noon today if the prof will let me in "Death, Mourning, and the Politics of Self-Sacrifice in the Middle East"--a class I'm really excited for and hoping I can take. Also, I decided to take "The Just War Tradition," a political philosophy course on Just War theory that considers early influences and writings like that of Augustine! I think it will be very interesting. My third course will be a thesis reading course, which basically suggests I take only two courses and focus the remainder of my time on my thesis. This also means, I only have one class on Tuesdays and another on Wednesdays... that's it! While that sounds like a slacker's schedule, I'm sure to need every minute of spare time for my thesis to have a rough draft completed in two-and-a-half weeks and a final draft in just over a month from now! Nine more weeks and I have my M.A.!!!

Don't ask, "then what?" I haven't the foggiest right now. But I do know I'm not going to Cairo for the Arabic program. I just got the e-mail last week. In fact no one who applied from my program was accepted. I was disappointed, but also relieved a bit to know something definite and have more space to see friends, family, find a job, participate in weddings, and transition out of graduate school a bit less abruptly.

In other news, I'm considering participating in Chicago's 10-mile Lake run along Lake Michigan at the end of April. I only just started "training" this week, so we'll see how that goes before I commit.

Also, I feel an apology is in order. My hope was that this blog would be a means to develop more illuminating thoughts and observations that serve relevant cultural discussions at some level. Hopefully I'll find time to write less schedule-type, life event lists and contribute more meaningful postings. But for now, back to thesis work.

Catching Up

2008-04-01T05:21:00.000-07:00

It's been an eventful two weeks! I finished out the winter quarter with a slam-bang, comprehensive final on St. Patrick's Day and then proceeded to go out with others from my program (and including Courtney) to Wrigley Ville to celebrate. Let's just say it was more of a college experience than what I actually experienced in college. It was fun but exhausting. Anyway, next day, Courtney and I returned to the city for dinner and a show at the Steppenwolfe--a well known live theatre company and venue in north Chicago. We had a blast! That was Tuesday. Thursday, we left to return to Nebraska. Courtney had flown in on a one-way ticket so we could drive back. We spent Easter weekend with family, first with her's, then mine, and then her with her's again. It was much needed, quality time.

Then, I had planned to return to Chicago to focus on my thesis last Tuesday, two days after Easter. I discovered that I could still get work done in Lincoln and ended up delaying my return until Sunday, go figure. It was great to have the extended time with Courtney and a few other friends, and still get work done! I did drive back on Sunday in time to do laundry and get ready for my first day of classes on for my last quarter on Monday, yesterday. Today, I've already missed my train, haha. I set my alarm for 5:30 PM and not AM; and since I haven't had to get up at that ungodly hour for some time, I didn't wake up till 7:00. Dangit. But, i was probably going to drop the class anyway, so it's ok. Today and tomorrow will be largely comprised of visiting courses and trying to nail down which classes I want/need to take since I'll only be taking two and working on my thesis to have in completed by May 9th if I can! Pray for diligence!

New Zealand Nonsense... gotta love it!

2008-03-10T12:24:00.000-07:00

Don't ask how or why I have time to find these things. Can you tell it's the last week of the quarter and I'm stressed out with three papers and an exam?

It's scary how much of this is true

2008-03-07T08:33:00.000-08:00

You Just Might Be a Graduate Student If...

you can identify universities by their internet domains.
you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.
you have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have footnotes.
you understand jokes about Foucault.
the concept of free time scares you.
you consider caffeine to be a major food group.
you've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.
Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
the professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.
you've ever traveled across two state lines specifically to go to a library.
you appreciate the fact that you get to choose *which* twenty hours out of the day you have to work.
you still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you'll get over it).
you can read course books and cook at the same time.
you schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come.
you hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying in.
you've ever worn out a library card.
you find taking notes in a park relaxing.
you find yourself citing sources in conversation.
you've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the internet.
you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
you look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
you consider all papers to be works in progress.
professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
you reflexively start analyzing those Greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade."
you start referring to stories like "Snow White, et al."
you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.
you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
you wonder whether APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication."

The Good Ol' Days

2008-03-04T19:42:00.000-08:00

I know I have already posted once today, but it can't be helped. I feel compelled. I've been listening to "old" worship music all day as I've been writing and studying and as a result I'm finding myself frequently overwhelmed with memories from my music past. Music from Sud.z worship to Cru and Greekside, and finally Grace Chapel. Songs like "Shane and Shane - You Said," "Waterdeep - You Are Beautiful," "Ten Shekel Shirt - Unashamed Love," "Starfield - Filled With Your Glory," "Delirious - My Glorious," "Jars of Clay - Faith Like a Child/Worlds Apart" (these remind me of Jesse Davy--that was a while ago, ehh Jess :), speaking of JOC, "the Valley Song," "Kutless - Better is One Day," "S&S - In the Secret," "Downhere - Great are you"... I could go on and on.

Needless to say, I've been steeped in hopeless sentimentalism all day. Each song brings back a flood of fond memories of the hours spent practicing, selecting songs, and "performing" at various events. Many of the people involved who interacted with me so much and have had an impact on my life in differing and meaningful ways... from Raul, the Davys... now including Michel and Crystal, Jay, Jeff Cloud, Dez, Joe Heider, Aaron of course, Kous, Poopy pants McChance (haha), Martha & Ernie, Browny, Parks (I know I'm excluding too many people)... the list goes on. I'm resisting the urge to write, "Thank you for the memories" and seal the deal on this cheesy memorandum. It's crazy to think about now for some reason, though--the feeling of playing on a night when everything goes well and everyone's into. Or the nights when everything goes wrong and your reminded of your fallen humanity, en masse. The outside opportunities to perform (i.e. the unforgettable A-Phi Fiesta). The few but exhilarating opportunities to record. I miss it all. Music, though lately absent, has been and will remain, God willing, an essential in my life. I needed to say this. Thanks.

Tacit Tensions and Anticipated Times

2008-03-04T09:17:00.000-08:00

There seems to be a growing, implicit sense of urgency as I approach the end of my second of three quarters. Two weeks from now, my classes will be completed for the quarter--3 papers and a final exam yet to complete. I am also officially in critical, thesis crunch time. I have a month and half to write the sucker and my thesis adviser will return to Israel in two weeks leaving me extremely limited face-to-face time. It is good that I will have nearly two weeks off between this and the next quarter to devote my energies to serious writing--though my time will not be wholly spent on studies.

In the midst of it all, the need to consider the future is also feeling pressing. It turns out I have missed my best opportunity to pursue the State Department next year, the Presidential Management Fellowship, though it is not out of the question for the following year (hopefully). I do expect to hear of the Critical Language Scholarship opportunity in Cairo in the next 3 weeks or so, which could help begin to clarify things. As I consider post-Chicago options and interests, whether jobs or further schooling, it seems like things are beginning to point in the direction of D.C.--a place I don't think even seriously crossed my mind a year ago. We will have to see.

But, despite these tensions and expectations, it is an exciting time of life. Yesterday I talked with a Civil Service Agent with the State Department in the Nuclear Proliferation and WMD program, a CIR alum (my program) from 2003. Hearing her talk about her job was exciting to think about in terms of my own future. A part of me perhaps never thought about venturing terribly far from home (NE) for very long outside of academics, and I feel my ability to allow myself to think bigger has been recently growing. We will see what God has in store. Isn't it an interesting journey?

I Can't Get Enough of This Guy

2008-02-29T17:16:00.000-08:00

A much-needed break

2008-02-19T19:50:00.001-08:00

It was so good to be home! For the first time since coming to school in Chicago, I did almost no homework on a weekend during a quarter--and it was worth it! I'm paying the price for it now of course. But I needed the break.

Courtney's mother made us a wonderful meal on Valentine's Day evening after Courtney picked me up from the airport. We then started the classic movie, "Gone with the Wind," a four-hour marathon of a film that we had to finish the following morning--good lines, semi-depressing story. Friday, Court had class and I finally got a haircut, moved my things into my aunt and uncle's home, and rested a bit from a busy week. I picked Court up from class and we went out that night for dinner before catching up with Ben and Crystal Davy at Bread and Cup in the Hay Market. We had great time with them. Saturday, it was quick workout in the morning with Jay Taylor and then off to Norfolk for the Winter Royalty festivities of my youngest sister Kalen, a senior this year. She was nominated for Winter Royalty queen--special because 1) she was completely surprised, and 2) I was nominated for the same event my senior year! It was fun to participate in that with my family. We got back late Sat. night and then I was up early again to go to Grace's early service Sunday morning. It was so good to be back. I have really missed the people and the ministry of Grace Chapel. Court and I met friends for coffee and then my old roommate/fellow banterer John for Jimmy Johns at his place. I flew back out of Omaha that evening to get home after ten and then up early Monday morning to start the next week. It was a crazy but encouraging weekend.

Funny how we NEED relationships, we NEED community.

UChicago

2008-02-08T05:18:00.000-08:00

I finally joined the digital age, thanks to Christmas and my parents. These are a few pictures from the southern side of the University of Chicago campus--the side I tend to use mostly. More of the rest will come soon. I had about 20 minutes to kill before my bus left for home yesterday so I thought I'd take a few. You'll quickly notice it looks much colder than the cozy 65 degrees that a certain other blogger might be experiencing this time of year--I won't mention any names, you know who you are... (ahem, Tanner!).

This first one is a statue that stands on the south side of Harper Library--the "Harry Potter Library" as some refer to it. It's the old one. Most people use Regenstein for which i don't have pictures yet. Below is the Ice Skating Rink that sits in the middle of the Midway Plaissance on the south side of campus. I've heard it's only $2 to skate there! I haven't done that yet myself yet. Maybe when it's warmer.

Below is the famous Rockefeller Chapel. There's a big bell tower just behind but it's kind of unsightly with all of the scaffolding that's been covering it all year. You can kind of see the top corner of it from this view.

The right building in the picture above is the music school. Apparently anyone can check out piano rooms there. I've been meaning to do that. I had a class in the building on the left. I can't remember the name right now. Anyway, check out the sweet old doors. A lot of them are like that. Below are a few shots of the quad or near it.

Above, is the Divinity School from the side, there's a cemented, circular bench just in the foreground if you can see it. I have a class here and I eat Lebanese and other Mediterranean foods here for lunch all the time (mmmm... salmon kabobs!). These two pictures below are of my building, Pick Hall. It's the odd, non-gothic building on the corner. By "my" I mean this is where the Committee on International Relations (CIR) office and lounge remains on the third floor. I also have some classes here.

Anyway, I figure this is a good start. I hope you find this interesting. I'm sure there'll be more to come. If it's not too vain, (though I guess it's my blog so it may be appropriate--or at least appropriately vain), I'm contemplating doing a "day in the life" photo exposition, following a typical day of mine from early morning train rides, scary South Side "El" and bus tours, to the enlightening halls of the University and classic academia. Thoughts? I'm sure you'll all be captivated, haha. Cheers!

Good time to come home

2008-02-07T07:38:00.000-08:00

So it turns out I get to come back to Nebraska for Valentine's Day weekend! It will have been 6 weeks at that point since I was home for Christmas break; and, though it seems like those weeks flew by, I'm ready to be home. Valentine's Day last year was Courtney's first day in Australia where she would remain for the following five months--we didn't really get one together. So, when I discovered the lull (as much as there can be in grad. school) in my academic schedule for the weekend, I jumped at the chance. I'm so excited to see her and be home!

To make it even better, my littlest sister, Kalen, was nominated as a Winter Royalty candidate and the coronation is the Saturday of that same weekend after Val's Day! Hopefully I will get to be in Norfolk briefly to see that--li'l sis followin in her big bro's footsteps :). (I was a Winter Royalty candidate my senior year as well).

Anyway, life here is good. I thought I would be swamped with three papers to finish in the two weeks before heading home, but surprisingly things haven't been too bad. Two more papers to go though. Which reminds me, I should get back to work. See some of you soon, hopefully. Cheers!

Change

2008-01-29T06:55:00.000-08:00

I was going through some old files on my computer when I came across a file name I didn't recognize and that hadn't been opened since April of 2006. It is entitled Going Home. Pardon me if it seems a little too serious, I have my melancholy moments like everyone else (and maybe more than some others). But it struck me for the way it captured how I felt in a moment nearly two years ago, give or take a couple months, as college was coming to an end for me at UNL. It captures how I tend to react to change--something that I will deal with again soon (and fairly consistently hereafter). But, I thought I would take a risk and share it with you.

I tell myself as I leave that I’ll always remember this moment and feel the way I do now when I return, if I can return, that memories will be enough. I won’t be a fool. I know things must change for me to continue. This is my excuse to be sentimental, to ache at a remembrance of something I’ve lost. This is my rendition of transition from what I thought I knew so well and that could never end, to what remains so vague it scares me, excites me, despairs me, ignites me. A sorrow scattered hope explains me. Now resting and confident; now vulnerable and impotent. Beneath it all is the sense that a part of me is dying, or hiding dormant to be never awakened. Waiting for a change in me, an improvement that betrays direction—this sustains me, this place that awaits me. I am wounded but I am not dead.

I know it seems a bit much, haha, but it's how I felt. The memory and the moment intrigued me though, considering where I've been, what I've learned, and where I am going--even since then. Try it. Maybe consider a specific moment from the recent or distant past. Look where God has brought you and the hope you have for where He will take you from here.

Life in 'the hood'

2008-01-19T06:31:00.000-08:00

Occasionally I have to take the "EL" to get to classes if I leave late enough in the day. It's sometimes a bit unnerving because campus is in Hyde Park--the south side of Chicago, the sketchier side. I take the Metra an hours' ride to the city then walk a few blocks from Ogilvie Transportation Center to the Green-Line stop on Clinton St. That line takes me about 35 minutes south to within a mile of campus but I usually wait for a bus that takes me straight there from the El stop, Garfield. Unfortunately, the Garfield stop is in a rough neighborhood and I usually have my expensive laptop with me (thankfully carried in a bag that looks like a normal backpack). There's a small grocery/liquor store there so you tend to see a lot of older men loitering around there drinking out of brown bags. I tend to get asked for money a lot at that stop as well.

Thursday was the first time I would have to take this route in over a month and some of the 'used-to-it' feeling had worn off. I had nearly reached the Garfield stop and remember thinking at about that point, "This isn't so bad," when I saw one man in the car a few seats in front of me quickly move closer to another man who had got on a few stops back. The two of them talked secretively and furtively glanced toward the conductor at the front of the car. Moving quickly to the two open seats four feet in front of me, they conveniently faced to my left so that I could observe everything going on between them. The newer passenger handed five or six little, clear plastic bags full of small, green-colored leaves to the other in exchange for a small wad of cash! A drug deal--I observed a drug deal on the El! Other passengers who knew what was going on acted as if nothing abnormal had just happened. In fact, one woman sitting directly facing the perpetrators asked the man who purchased the drugs if she could see them. He handed a couple of the packages to her and she closely looked them over and smelled them before giving them back. One would have thought they might have been just as easily purchasing food or a souvenir. I couldn't believe it. What do I do with that?

I got off at my stop, a little more paranoid than normal and trying to convince myself not to be irrational. Who was to meet me at the bus stop but Eric Johnston, or that's who he introduced himself to be. He wore a dirtied, dark wool coat, an old winter hat, worn pants, and stained boots. He appeared to be homeless but he made a point to say, "I wouldn't say that I'm homeless, but... I'm kind of in between living situations." Whatever that means. He proceeded to ask for me to pay the bus fare which he said "thank you" for before I actually agreed, haha. But I decided I could do that. I'd rather pay his fare than just give him cash. He said he had some business to do on the other side of the U of C campus and then talked almost non-stop from that point as we waited for the bus, through the bus ride (he sat next to me), and until I got off about how he was a jazz pianist and all the people he'd played with since he got out of the army. It was genuinely fascinating, I was just skeptical about how much of it I could believe.

Anyway, welcome back to the neighborhood, right? OK,it's not really my neighborhood, but I'm down there a lot.

In the Thick of it All Again

2008-01-16T18:18:00.001-08:00

So, I'm nearing the end of my second week back and things seem crazier than ever. Upon my return, I received notification of a scholarship opportunity sponsored by the State Department. It's for an intense, critical language study program this summer abroad! So, of course I'm applying. Essentially, if I get it, it would mean an 8 week study of Arabic in Cairo starting immediately just before (yes before) the official end of my last quarter at U of C! Whatever I do next year, I have been realizing the need for and really wanting to learn a second language well. This would be a huge opportunity to do that as well as add some beef to my resume'.

With this scholarship application process, requiring multiple essays and academic recommendations from faculty I hardly know, I have been getting into classes as well. After a week-and-a-half of deliberation, I have finally decided (though not yet decidedly registered) on three courses. Arab-Israeli conflict, which will be a very interesting class with a very interesting, and dare I say stereotypical, foreign-accented, Jewish professor (he's great); US National Security Policy, which I have only been to once in four class sessions thus far (I'll get to it); and International Political Economy, a very dreaded and very required course for my program. All of which contribute to three days on campus a week and an already very busy work load.

Meanwhile, my Illinois family has been sick. The boys, Joseph and Joshy contracted a stomach flu and proceeded to give aspects of it to the rest of the household--including a visiting grandmother and great-grandmother (97 years old!!). So, yesterday (Tue.), on what was the day I had planned to complete one of three IPE papers due today already (Wed.), I writhed on my bed in pronounced, gastric pain for most of the day. Fortunately my professor gave me until tomorrow to complete the paper, which is actually essentially done now as I write. However, to accomplish this I decided not to attend the fourth session (and third class that I have now missed) of Security Policy. Also fortunately, I have good class mates that have agreed to give me notes.

My thoughts have also been stressfully consumed with plans for the future as I have been meeting with career counselors and planning to attend career fairs, which I also missed today. I don't know that it means much at the moment, but I am seriously considering pursuing foreign service with the State Department in the next couple of years. We'll see what happens! God Bless!

P.S. Sorry for the long posting. I had a lot to cover.

Back Again

2008-01-05T20:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back in Chicago and eager to get into a second quarter at the U of C (classes start Monday). I almost made it from Omaha on a single tank of gas without any stops. I say "almost" because I was about 30 minutes from my home here and my tank was on empty so I was forced to stop and get gas after 417 miles and about 6 straight hours of driving. I thought it was a good challenge. I have my fridge full of groceries, my car emptied, my Chipotle for dinner, and now I can finally hit the sack. It's good to be back.

Home Again, Home Again

2007-12-10T06:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it. I survived my first quarter at the University of Chicago, (and the first season of 24. Though I've since started the second, haha). Friday, I turned in my last two final papers that I had been slaving over for more than the last week exclusively. I then met with my preceptor (program adviser) to discuss my thesis before catching up with some friends from my program (International Relations) over lunch and collecting some more thesis sources from the University library. From there, it was my last, two-hour commute of the year back to Winfield (Yay!!) to pack up so I could leave bright and early the next morning to be back in Nebraska by early, Saturday afternoon! I'm home! It was so good to see Courtney again and to visit my Lincoln friends. It was really encouraging to be at Grace again on Sunday morning, as well.

I'll be heading Home, to Norfolk, tomorrow most likely. Though I need to try to get some Christmas gifts and a haircut before I go. It will be good to be home-home as well. Kalen (my youngest sister) really wants me to help her review her AP Lit/Comp research paper (these papers were pivotal and formative for me in high school) before Friday and it will be nice of course to live under the comforting roof of my parent's home once again. Though I'm sure to be back in Lincoln by the end of the week. I think this break will be a lot of going back and forth, living out my car, and shamelessly requesting residence from Lincoln friends on short notice. Thank God for friends. Until next time, cheers!

Inconvenient Addictions

2007-11-30T14:58:00.000-08:00

So, somehow in the last week I managed to discover Season 1 of "24" in my aunt and uncle's stash and I am now addicted. Classes are done but for two fairly involved final research projects due at the end of next week--so suffice it to say, this is bad timing. I started watching it on Tue. night and I'm about 2/3 through the season already. With any luck, I'll just finish the season before the weekend's out and I'll be forced to spend more time on my papers. Not that I've been a complete slacker or anything--just maybe a bit more distracted than I should.

For one of my papers (for my Media in the Middle East class) I'm analyzing "Paradise Now," an independent, Palestinian film that came out in 2005 (I believe) that follows two young men in the West Bank through the 48 hours leading up to their role in a suicide bombing in Tel Aviv. It's intense but extremely well done, it doesn't condone violence or anything like that. You can get it at any Blockbuster. I would highly recommend it. My interest in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is growing in light of my recent courses and I will most likely be taking a history course on the Arab-Israeli conflict next quarter. I can't wait!

P.S. I'll be home in just over 1 week! Yay!

Thanksgiving!

2007-11-26T20:49:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it's late and I have to get up early but I wanted to write a quick post to let everyone know how I'm doing. I was home for Thanksgiving and it was wonderful. More relaxing than I anticipated with the usual class schedule and load frequently preoccupying my thoughts and "free time." I decided to not let school stress me out and just get done what I could while enjoying my family and Courtney. It worked. Home felt like home and Courtney and I had some good chances to connect face to face for a change. It was different, but really good. Thank God for home!

I'm now back in Chicago, in my last week of classes! I have a final paper due tomorrow which is nearly done and two research projects and a re-write of my thesis proposal due by the end of next week. Then, my first quarter at the University of Chicago is behind me! These next two weeks will fly by I'm sure. Well, I need to get some sleep for my long, second-to-last day of class tomorrow! Cheers!

Further Proof

2007-11-17T08:23:00.000-08:00

Having read Aaron's blog, I felt it my responsibility to provide further evidence for the greatness of this new album. Admittedly, it is a bit "over-produced" and "poppy." I feel almost guilty admitting to the fact that I thoroughly enjoy--but really I do! I have been following this band for about five years now. If nothing else, the song makes you want to move and it's fun--though not completely devoid of originality, talent, and that particular, jimmy-eat-world sound. I think it's great and I hope you do too.

Well, I should get back to my seemingly endless hours of reading and writing, haha. I hope this finds you all experiencing an amazing weekend!

Successful Firsts... err Seconds

2007-11-02T13:21:00.000-07:00

Having developed an emotional, and subsequently expensive, attachment to my hair stylist/barber (can a woman be a barber?, is anyone called a barber anymore?) in Lincoln, I have avoided pursuing other means of a haircut since having moved to Chicago. And, there's no foreseeable change to that in sight understanding that I'll be able to go home periodically. Still, it's approaching 8 weeks since my last haircut and that presents problems. While my daily presentability is no longer contingent upon the inspection of an employer and a strict dress code, I'm in graduate school, not prison (though the feeling has to be remarkably similar from time to time). So, in my stubborn insistence to maintain the Lincoln 'stylist's' status as my own, I today ventured upon a personal endeavor to deal with the hair-on-ears problem--I took a trimmer to my own head. This being my first attempt since an early, elementary school blunder that completely removed a portion of my own bangs, I felt a remarkable sense of accomplishment at removing said problem without having to resort to a complete shaving of my head. Now, while the untrained observer may think the amount of hair actually removed in the process was at most negligible, I feel the problem was solved beautifully!

Epiphanies of Circumstance

2007-10-31T16:41:00.000-07:00

Today I think I had a sort of epiphany while running the usual trail by my house. Both running and epiphanies are luxuries I seldom experience on Wednesdays. (Thursdays are another story). No, I don't know what my thesis is going to be yet... Shoot, that would have been helpful! It is simply this: graduate school is a continued search for purpose. That's it. It's all about taking classes, attempting to look or sound smart, learning how to critically analyze and communicate in a certain context or field of emphasis so that you can begin searching for that one thing about which you think you have something to say--that one idea that gets you fired up enough that you think you can contribute. And, in the process, somehow, whether by the rarity of brilliance or sheer dumb luck, discover a way to legitimize or immortalize yourself in the grand discourse of academia and knowledge. OK, maybe that tastes a bit of hopeless cynicism. But that's how I feel about graduate school today.

Long Overdue...

2007-10-28T15:57:00.000-07:00

So... yeah... my bad. It's been a while. Things have been really busy. But still, no excuse. School has been definitely keeping me on my toes. I'm adjusting to the constant feeling that I should be working on something and the idea that I couldn't possibly get everything done. That said, things are going pretty well. I got an A on my first grad. school paper! I was really worried about that one.

I'm getting better connected to the people in my program as well. We all went out to a Tapas place downtown, drinks and food paid for by the CIR program (Committee on International Relations). It was a lot of fun; however, I was left to my own devices to find my way back to the train station--everyone else took a bus back to Hyde Park (where campus is). I thought I knew where I was, or at least a good idea, but it turns out I underestimated how far north I was. I walked 6 blocks or so and realized I wasn't as sure as I thought. I eventually asked someone and discovered I had about a mile-and-a-half to go--in 14 minutes to catch my 10:40 train. Either that or wait another hour. Keep in mind that I hadn't been home since before 7 AM and it was now about 10:26 PM. I was dressed up and had my computer and books all with me. I had just had about 3 glasses of Sangria and a four course meal. I was wearing a fleece but it was about 65 to 70 degrees out still. I was talking to Court and explained the situation. She said, "Well, you could make it if you ran." I paused for a second and then responded, "You're right. I call you back." I proceeded then to book it for the train station. People are yelling, "Run, Forrest!" as I push my pace while nervously eyeing my wrist-watch every minute or so. I reached the train station and run up the escalator, glancing at the departure/arrival board as i make my way through the revolving doors and to the platform with my train. It was 10:38. I made it. At this point I realize that I am sopping in my own sweat, so I decide to remain by the doors and strip down to my undershirt, hoping to cool down. By the time I reached my stop, an hour later, I felt pretty disgusting.

Courtney and two of her friends, Sarah and Andrea, were here last weekend for their fall break. We were in Michigan over part of Sat. and Sun. for Jay and Liz's wedding. It was a quick, semi-stressful trip, but it was good to see people there. I still had class on Mon. and Tue. while the girls were here, so they went shopping downtown all day Monday while I was at class. It was good to have someone to commute with. The four of us had a lot of fun. Courtney and I had some good alone time as well. Needless to say, I got a bit behind on my school work. But, it was worth it.

Yesterday, I took a study break and met Josi and Heather downtown for coffee. It was a quick trip, but good to see them and connect with some good friends. Most of my life is studying, otherwise. I spend three days commuting to class (Mon.-Wed.)--pretty much an all day event--then I have four days to constantly prepare for the next week. But, I have 5 weeks left of the quarter I think. It'll be increasingly intense, but I'm hanging in there. I'm beginning the process of the thesis. I'm at the developing my idea stage. I have most of December and the first few days of Jan. off to work on my thesis. So I plan to do most of that from Nebraska. i look forward to seeing as many of you during that time as I can! I'm sure I'm leaving out details and events from the last few weeks but this essentially catches you up. I'll try to be more intentional with postings. I didn't realize people read this, haha. Hope this finds you well and feeling blessed!

Troublesome Transition Turned Triumphant Tale

2007-09-17T18:39:00.000-07:00

So this week has been an adventure. We left early, shortly after five, on Friday morning after about 4 hours of sleep. My parents met me at the Lund house to pack the last few bits of laundry and the cooler into our two jam-packed cars before heading across town to pick up Courtney and head out on I-80 for Chicago. We did stop briefly at the Sapp Bros. truck stop for a big breakfast and about a gallon of coffee each. By Des Moines we stopped for gas. Funny story, my car decided to lock itself while we were getting gas after Courtney got out and we were locked out of my car until I was able to finagle a wire hanger to unlock the driver's side door. Crisis averted... or so we thought. About ten minutes later, as my parents followed us on the interstate, my mother called to ask about the steam I hadn't noticed flowing from under the right side of the hood of the car. I immediately glanced at the gauges on my dash indicating that my engine was over heating. In my ignorance I only slowed down(I didn't stop), attempting to exit the interstate as quickly as possible. We got to a gas station in Pleasant Hill, East Des Moines, and discovered a "Performance Plus" auto repair across the street. The engine had cooled a bit so I managed to get it to the mechanic there. He indicated in a matter of minutes that the head gasket was done for--the car was totaled. Now I knew it was cracked and the car had obvious problems, but I hadn't really anticipated this so soon. The four of us prayed, rearranged things so we could all fit in the van, and promptly headed back to central Des Moines in search of car dealerships and a new car! Over the course of the next eight hours, we would endure seemingly countless dealerships and salesmen. They weren't all bad, a few were remarkably ridiculous, but I... we were all... getting to the point where we didn't know if we could handle another over-zealous salesmen, dangling his bait in hopes that we might bite. Facing an amazingly expensive year, we had a bit of a tight budget to work with--our options were limited.
I think it was at what must have been our seventh dealership when things began to take a turn for the better. We were helped by a young salesman, Brandon, just out of college at Iowa State. He informed us of a car just dropped off that day, a 1995 Toyota Avalon. It was black, nearly flawless, spacious, tan leather interior, 91K miles. Almost too good to be true. My dad and I took it for a test drive. It handled amazingly. It felt almost like new! It turns out an old lady who had bought it at that very dealership new in 1995, had just traded it in that morning for a new Corolla. The service dept. hadn't even inspected it yet. I was getting excited to say the least. We gave the Service guys an hour to check it over and we came back to find out the damage. Incredibly, nothing super serious was found wrong. A few minor things would need to attended to but we needed to drive it away that day--we were still trying to get to Chicago remember. God be praised, we were able to negotiate a great deal, exactly within our budget!! As I said, eight hours later, I drove away in my new car. The girls had rushed back to empty my old Acura--it had served me well for nearly six years, now with almost 200K miles, it was ready to be done. We quickly transferred the rest of our things into the new car and made it to Winfield (where I'm now living, west of Chicago) by 11:30 or so Friday night. We got everything moved in right away and were able to enjoy the rest of the weekend as I got settled into my new home for the next year!
Today was the first day of orientation. It took me 2-and-1/2 hours to get to campus, about exactly two to get back home. It's a bit daunting but manageable. Things will get better as I get my classes figured out this week and get a routine established. All in all, I'm doing very well. It's great to be living with my aunt, uncle, and two little cousins (3 & 2). Thank you all for your prayers!! This will prove to be a challenging year I'm sure, but I'm so excited to see what I learn and where it takes me!!

p.s. I'll post pictures when I get a chance!

Occupational Endings

2007-09-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

My last day of work was Friday. It's amazing the things that you don't expect to miss--the mundane, day-to-day details like the particular things that only I remembered about the regular customers. Bob always gets his ones broken into stacks of 20. Larry always gets balances. Ray always liked my blue and white, striped tie, he liked to ask random math and trivia questions too. Shirley always comes in on Wednesday mornings. Josh, 'lunch guy', always comes through the drive-through, eating his lunch, he calls me weird nick-names (slappy, shooter, etc.). Deb calls in her change orders every morning, first thing, and she never tells me who's calling when I answer the phone, just "hey." Ken is usually the first customer in the drive-through every morning, he only ever has deposits, he doesn't get a balance, and he always gets a dog bone for his dog Fred who's never with him. Anyway, you get the idea. These sort of things are what I'm going to miss. Not to mention the people I worked with. My last day, Larry bought me a cup of coffee, Deb bought my five power ball tickets (i didn't win), and our personal banker bought me a scarf, a pound of coffee, and everyone signed a card that plays the song "hit the road jack" when you open it. I was really touched, nearly emotional. It was weird to say goodbye and walk out the door. Fortunately, i have much to look forward to. I move to "the Windy City" (Chicago) on Friday!

Running thoughts

2007-08-15T18:22:00.000-07:00

It seems my greatest opportunities to think during the day happen while I run and today was no exception. I ran past what must have been a 6th or 7th-grade boys soccer practice and decided, for the first time, that I would like a be a soccer coach someday. Nothing serious, mind you, just for a YMCA league or something. It was funny to me though to think about because I had never considered it before. Previously, I had always been thinking about playing--never coaching. For whatever reason I consider this thought to be revolutionary in my maturity and development.

Furthermore... I have a confession or two. I'm almost hesitant to type this actually. Due to the influence of my childhood--yes I'm blaming my parents--there are a number of things in my life, my interests and abilities, that remain forever affected. First and perhaps most obviously: automobile know-how. In part due to my father (who would in fact admit it) I possess remarkably limited knowledge of cars. I can replace fluids and check levels, etc.--but if anything goes wrong I'm clueless and I'm forced to rely on the local car repair shop for just about the minutest of mishaps. Second, football. I enjoy football. I enjoy playing football. I enjoy watching football. I've never really been the obsessive, know-all-the-players, know-all-the-stats, remember-all-the-games/plays/seasons type of fan. I've kind of found myself intimidated, or worse, put off by conversations with people that are. But this year, for perhaps the first time, I'm legitimately excited for the rapidly approaching college football season! Maybe it's the influence of college roommates, or maybe I've just been worn down into submission with a football crazed society and a football crazed state. But for whatever reason, healthy or not, I am! ...Unfortunately,... now that I'm moving to Chicago in month, this will be my first fall season away from Nebraska, my friends and family with whom I would otherwise now be able to enjoy it all! Dangit! Oh well, perhaps it will become a means to acquiring other friendships... hmmm.

Review: "Heart of Darkness"

2007-08-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

I wanted to throw out a recommendation while I can--Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness." Heather (one of my housemates and long-time friend from high school) bought a book for me for my birthday--which i already had, haha. So i exchanged it for "Heart of Darkness." I love classics and this was one I heard was good but had never before taken the opportunity to read. I've now only read the first 80 pages or so--but I love it. Conrad is an amazing writer, eloquent and profound. What amazes me still is that English was not his first language. Anyway, if you get the chance, take it. Perhaps I'll review it a bit more once I've finished the book. Stay posted :).

Life Lately...

2007-08-07T18:43:00.000-07:00

So lately my life has been a busy mix of work, Courtney's family, and preparation for Chicago. Work's work. My last day is a month from today and I'm ready for it. Don't get me wrong, I love the people--some of whom I've seen five days a week for 14-and-a-half months now--and it will be an abrupt change to be suddenly done and gone I'm sure. But I was not meant to be a banker. To be honest I'm craving with increasing measure the opportunity to experience a greater purpose in the vocation i pursue on a day-to-day basis.

Two weekends ago Courtney and I traveled to Yankton to her grandma 'Honey's' cabin along with her mother, aunt, uncle and his wife, and most of their kids. We had such a good time. I could probably write an entire blog-entry to two about experiencing the fascinatingly different dynamics of a family other than my own after spending a weekend in the same cabin with all 13-or-so of them. Enlightening stuff, let me tell you. Then last weekend we had Courtney's niece's first birthday party--which is apparently a HUGE deal. Am I the only one not aware of the monumental event that a child's first birthday is? Help me out here. Family traveled from Minnesota and multiple friends attended with their kids for the afternoon-long event. First there was lunch and every one of the thirty-or-so individuals had to get their time with Julia (the birthday girl), craziness ensues as other kids run about, we pause for singing 'happy birthday' and the child dives into her own little cake before everyone enjoys their cake and ice cream. We watch slide show of the baby's first year, mill about again before the hour-or-so saga that is opening presents from everyone. I don't remember the last time I had an event such as that centered around me--probably because I was one year old, eh? Anyway, after about 3-and-a-half hours I finally had to escape for isolation and a short nap. Afterwards, we were off to visit some of Courtney's mom's relatives at a restaurant called Surfside just north of Omaha on the east side along the river. It was a great place, they served fried chicken or fried catfish... that was it. But it was GOOD! you eat along the river and people boat by and, apparently in the name of tradition, moon you and all the other 'surfsiders' as we enjoy our beer and fried fish. Good times!

As to Chicago. I feel the time is quickly approaching. I've been working on loans and budget preparations, the details of my living situation with my uncle and his family (yay!), scheduling the orientation events and whatnot for the advent of the new school year--it's all very exciting and a bit overwhelming. But as I said, I feel more and more ready for it. It's time. I'm just praying to keep perspective. I really desire to see what I gain from this next year used in a (perhaps) unique way, commingled with Truth to develop real insights and answers to international conflict and resolutions. If I believe the Bible to be true and that Truth to be pervasive, it must apply to all aspects of life. The problem is that for me to live and believe in such things, means that i'm living my different rules than the world. I would like to see those rules merge in a way that makes sense to the world through academic endeavors. This is my hope. You can pray with me over that. I'll keep you posted as this all becomes more clear in time. Thanks for reading!

The simple joys in reunion

2007-07-15T05:09:00.000-07:00

It has been far too long since my last post. Courtney's been back from Australia for nearly three weeks now and I've found my free time devoted largely to her--as it should be. It's been so good to have her back. It's interesting how relationships mature when forced to cope with extended periods of distance. Five months is quite a long time to be separated, from my perspective, and many unforeseen challenges presented themselves in the process. But the beauty of it is what is learned as you work through the challenges. As you honestly communicate, make joint, intentional efforts to find resolutions, and be both wholly committed to first find your peace, comfort, and joy in Christ, incredible growth and even a stronger relationship can be found at the other end of the distance. Not that it hasn't been a bit of an adjustment to be together again after so long an absence. It's remarkable the elemental things you don't always consciously recognize--the facial expressions, the touch of a hand, just the comfort of a felt presence, even the significance of operating in the same time zone, interacting at the same time of day--these important things you almost unknowingly learn to do without. The ache of their absence is felt though not entirely understood. It is almost as though the weight of the substance and joy they bring isn't comprehended till they are gone, and then finally, when they are all but forgotten, they are suddenly there again--subtly changed a bit with the effects, influences, and experiences of time--but remarkably the same. It's all a bit overwhelming, but overwhelmingly good. Be encouraged those of you who are separated for a time.

Friday Night Highlights

2007-06-22T18:31:00.000-07:00

It's Friday. Finally. There's something about arriving at Friday night after a long week of work. Since joining the working world, brief though my experience may be, I have discovered a tendency I never before noticed in the stressful-yet-sporadic and largely free college years. It is the tendency, nay the necessity, of rest. The exhaustive drudgery that repetitive work can sometimes be, though it may not initially appear physically or mentally taxing, is remarkable--leaving one all but incapable of involved activity at the end of a long work week. I won't even mention the ridiculous emotional effects of dealing with people in customer service. Courtney (who's finally back on Monday by the by) will testify, she discovered this with me and unfortunately received the effects of this as I first encountered it. Granted, a person's emotional response to this exhaustion is largely a choice, but I think it was Bing Crosby who said in "White Christmas" as he's trying to help Dean Jagger's character cope with retirement, "There's something to be said for leisure." Admittedly, it's not as bad as it was during the first few months after I started. Maybe I've learned to deal with it. Maybe I've just adjusted. Maybe I've reached a point of comfortability with working full time. Maybe I know I won't have to much longer and there's a light at the end of this short tunnel, haha. But i still find myself eager to get off work on Friday, get in a quick work out, eat, shower, and finally relax in limited company, awaiting a full night's sleep, without having to anticipate waking to an alarm at 5:30 and repeating the daily grind while operating on too much coffee, dealing with frustrated and difficult people who often have no regard for your humanity, and trying not to watch the clock as it slowly ticks off each second of your eight-hour work day. Haha, OK, that's a little melodramatic, but I couldn't resist. All this to say, It's here, and I am, so I will. Thank God for weekends.

Aging Thoughts

2007-06-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

My good friend and roommate, Heather, reminded me that i am long overdue for a posting. She's right. So today, having just acquired my new Macbook Pro (hehehehe...) I've decided the time is right.

First of all... I have in my possession two Kansas City Royals tickets for the game in KC this Saturday night, with free parking tickets, seats behind home plate i'm told, and I am unable to attend... they're burning a hole in my pocket! If anyone has any ideas for me, don't hesitate to let me know.

Now... I'm turning twenty-three on Monday and I have to say this is the first birthday I can remember that I'm not looking forward to as much. Seems a bit early i know. It's not as though I've necessarily reached a quarter-life crisis or anything ridiculous yet, though I'm not exactly dancing with mindless glee at the thought of it. Come to think of it, It's not as though I'm not in an exciting time of life either with loads of things to look forward to in the coming months and years (heretofore please excuse the double negatives and phrases ending in prepositions). I don't know... maybe it's just the physical things. I can't seem to stomach spicey foods like I used to. Even too much deviation from my usual, healty, diet routine leaves things more uncomfortable than what used to be. My vision seems more inconsistent, sometimes blurry, taking longer to adjust in light, and I've always had impeccable vision. I'm growing more unsightly hair in various orifices and on surfaces, particularly my nose, neck, and back, then I ever have--OK, too much info.?, my apologies, I am trying to convey the source and depth of my aging angst. haha. Anyway, it's the things I can't control. The things that can only, inevitably, worsen with time. Granted, I will have to get over it eventually or I'm in for a potentially long, difficult series of deteriorations. And so, I will make every effort this year to remember the things to look foward to, as vague and indefinite as they may seem, the blessings I possess now as a healthy, twenty-three-year-old young man who is close to a family which dearly loves him, whose girlfriend of more than a year is about to return from a five-month stint in Australia, who is on the brink of a big move to Winfield/Chicago, an amazing opportunity at a distinguished graduate school, and the God-only-knows' to follow--not only 'knows' but 'controls'.

It Begins...

2007-06-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

The time is right. The course of events have come to this. All the pieces have come together. The world is now made ready for exposure to the life and mind of Levi--scary thought I know.

My job...

I work in customer service for the time being--a bank teller--though I hardly consider myself cut out to be a banker. Still, I have been at it for more than a year and I have learned a lot in the process. And, mostly about people. People are ridiculous. Greedy, selfish, self-righteous, money-grubbing, inconsiderate, easily-angered, impatient, etc... and I chief among them. This has not been my first realization of this, of course. But I was realizing the other day, that my expectations for human interactions, in virtually any public circumstance, have been horribly tainted by a pervasive pessimism. I'm doing my darnedest not to become a cynic here on these terms. It has caused me realize how much I don't love people in general. How much that must be God in me. And, how much that that will only come as I learn to genuinely love God... I have a feeling that will take some serious time.