Epiphanies of Circumstance

Today I think I had a sort of epiphany while running the usual trail by my house. Both running and epiphanies are luxuries I seldom experience on Wednesdays. (Thursdays are another story). No, I don't know what my thesis is going to be yet... Shoot, that would have been helpful! It is simply this: graduate school is a continued search for purpose. That's it. It's all about taking classes, attempting to look or sound smart, learning how to critically analyze and communicate in a certain context or field of emphasis so that you can begin searching for that one thing about which you think you have something to say--that one idea that gets you fired up enough that you think you can contribute. And, in the process, somehow, whether by the rarity of brilliance or sheer dumb luck, discover a way to legitimize or immortalize yourself in the grand discourse of academia and knowledge. OK, maybe that tastes a bit of hopeless cynicism. But that's how I feel about graduate school today.

Long Overdue...

So... yeah... my bad. It's been a while. Things have been really busy. But still, no excuse. School has been definitely keeping me on my toes. I'm adjusting to the constant feeling that I should be working on something and the idea that I couldn't possibly get everything done. That said, things are going pretty well. I got an A on my first grad. school paper! I was really worried about that one.

I'm getting better connected to the people in my program as well. We all went out to a Tapas place downtown, drinks and food paid for by the CIR program (Committee on International Relations). It was a lot of fun; however, I was left to my own devices to find my way back to the train station--everyone else took a bus back to Hyde Park (where campus is). I thought I knew where I was, or at least a good idea, but it turns out I underestimated how far north I was. I walked 6 blocks or so and realized I wasn't as sure as I thought. I eventually asked someone and discovered I had about a mile-and-a-half to go--in 14 minutes to catch my 10:40 train. Either that or wait another hour. Keep in mind that I hadn't been home since before 7 AM and it was now about 10:26 PM. I was dressed up and had my computer and books all with me. I had just had about 3 glasses of Sangria and a four course meal. I was wearing a fleece but it was about 65 to 70 degrees out still. I was talking to Court and explained the situation. She said, "Well, you could make it if you ran." I paused for a second and then responded, "You're right. I call you back." I proceeded then to book it for the train station. People are yelling, "Run, Forrest!" as I push my pace while nervously eyeing my wrist-watch every minute or so. I reached the train station and run up the escalator, glancing at the departure/arrival board as i make my way through the revolving doors and to the platform with my train. It was 10:38. I made it. At this point I realize that I am sopping in my own sweat, so I decide to remain by the doors and strip down to my undershirt, hoping to cool down. By the time I reached my stop, an hour later, I felt pretty disgusting.

Courtney and two of her friends, Sarah and Andrea, were here last weekend for their fall break. We were in Michigan over part of Sat. and Sun. for Jay and Liz's wedding. It was a quick, semi-stressful trip, but it was good to see people there. I still had class on Mon. and Tue. while the girls were here, so they went shopping downtown all day Monday while I was at class. It was good to have someone to commute with. The four of us had a lot of fun. Courtney and I had some good alone time as well. Needless to say, I got a bit behind on my school work. But, it was worth it.

Yesterday, I took a study break and met Josi and Heather downtown for coffee. It was a quick trip, but good to see them and connect with some good friends. Most of my life is studying, otherwise. I spend three days commuting to class (Mon.-Wed.)--pretty much an all day event--then I have four days to constantly prepare for the next week. But, I have 5 weeks left of the quarter I think. It'll be increasingly intense, but I'm hanging in there. I'm beginning the process of the thesis. I'm at the developing my idea stage. I have most of December and the first few days of Jan. off to work on my thesis. So I plan to do most of that from Nebraska. i look forward to seeing as many of you during that time as I can! I'm sure I'm leaving out details and events from the last few weeks but this essentially catches you up. I'll try to be more intentional with postings. I didn't realize people read this, haha. Hope this finds you well and feeling blessed!

Troublesome Transition Turned Triumphant Tale

So this week has been an adventure. We left early, shortly after five, on Friday morning after about 4 hours of sleep. My parents met me at the Lund house to pack the last few bits of laundry and the cooler into our two jam-packed cars before heading across town to pick up Courtney and head out on I-80 for Chicago. We did stop briefly at the Sapp Bros. truck stop for a big breakfast and about a gallon of coffee each. By Des Moines we stopped for gas. Funny story, my car decided to lock itself while we were getting gas after Courtney got out and we were locked out of my car until I was able to finagle a wire hanger to unlock the driver's side door. Crisis averted... or so we thought. About ten minutes later, as my parents followed us on the interstate, my mother called to ask about the steam I hadn't noticed flowing from under the right side of the hood of the car. I immediately glanced at the gauges on my dash indicating that my engine was over heating. In my ignorance I only slowed down(I didn't stop), attempting to exit the interstate as quickly as possible. We got to a gas station in Pleasant Hill, East Des Moines, and discovered a "Performance Plus" auto repair across the street. The engine had cooled a bit so I managed to get it to the mechanic there. He indicated in a matter of minutes that the head gasket was done for--the car was totaled. Now I knew it was cracked and the car had obvious problems, but I hadn't really anticipated this so soon. The four of us prayed, rearranged things so we could all fit in the van, and promptly headed back to central Des Moines in search of car dealerships and a new car! Over the course of the next eight hours, we would endure seemingly countless dealerships and salesmen. They weren't all bad, a few were remarkably ridiculous, but I... we were all... getting to the point where we didn't know if we could handle another over-zealous salesmen, dangling his bait in hopes that we might bite. Facing an amazingly expensive year, we had a bit of a tight budget to work with--our options were limited.
I think it was at what must have been our seventh dealership when things began to take a turn for the better. We were helped by a young salesman, Brandon, just out of college at Iowa State. He informed us of a car just dropped off that day, a 1995 Toyota Avalon. It was black, nearly flawless, spacious, tan leather interior, 91K miles. Almost too good to be true. My dad and I took it for a test drive. It handled amazingly. It felt almost like new! It turns out an old lady who had bought it at that very dealership new in 1995, had just traded it in that morning for a new Corolla. The service dept. hadn't even inspected it yet. I was getting excited to say the least. We gave the Service guys an hour to check it over and we came back to find out the damage. Incredibly, nothing super serious was found wrong. A few minor things would need to attended to but we needed to drive it away that day--we were still trying to get to Chicago remember. God be praised, we were able to negotiate a great deal, exactly within our budget!! As I said, eight hours later, I drove away in my new car. The girls had rushed back to empty my old Acura--it had served me well for nearly six years, now with almost 200K miles, it was ready to be done. We quickly transferred the rest of our things into the new car and made it to Winfield (where I'm now living, west of Chicago) by 11:30 or so Friday night. We got everything moved in right away and were able to enjoy the rest of the weekend as I got settled into my new home for the next year!
Today was the first day of orientation. It took me 2-and-1/2 hours to get to campus, about exactly two to get back home. It's a bit daunting but manageable. Things will get better as I get my classes figured out this week and get a routine established. All in all, I'm doing very well. It's great to be living with my aunt, uncle, and two little cousins (3 & 2). Thank you all for your prayers!! This will prove to be a challenging year I'm sure, but I'm so excited to see what I learn and where it takes me!!

p.s. I'll post pictures when I get a chance!

Occupational Endings

My last day of work was Friday. It's amazing the things that you don't expect to miss--the mundane, day-to-day details like the particular things that only I remembered about the regular customers. Bob always gets his ones broken into stacks of 20. Larry always gets balances. Ray always liked my blue and white, striped tie, he liked to ask random math and trivia questions too. Shirley always comes in on Wednesday mornings. Josh, 'lunch guy', always comes through the drive-through, eating his lunch, he calls me weird nick-names (slappy, shooter, etc.). Deb calls in her change orders every morning, first thing, and she never tells me who's calling when I answer the phone, just "hey." Ken is usually the first customer in the drive-through every morning, he only ever has deposits, he doesn't get a balance, and he always gets a dog bone for his dog Fred who's never with him. Anyway, you get the idea. These sort of things are what I'm going to miss. Not to mention the people I worked with. My last day, Larry bought me a cup of coffee, Deb bought my five power ball tickets (i didn't win), and our personal banker bought me a scarf, a pound of coffee, and everyone signed a card that plays the song "hit the road jack" when you open it. I was really touched, nearly emotional. It was weird to say goodbye and walk out the door. Fortunately, i have much to look forward to. I move to "the Windy City" (Chicago) on Friday!

Running thoughts

It seems my greatest opportunities to think during the day happen while I run and today was no exception. I ran past what must have been a 6th or 7th-grade boys soccer practice and decided, for the first time, that I would like a be a soccer coach someday. Nothing serious, mind you, just for a YMCA league or something. It was funny to me though to think about because I had never considered it before. Previously, I had always been thinking about playing--never coaching. For whatever reason I consider this thought to be revolutionary in my maturity and development.

Furthermore... I have a confession or two. I'm almost hesitant to type this actually. Due to the influence of my childhood--yes I'm blaming my parents--there are a number of things in my life, my interests and abilities, that remain forever affected. First and perhaps most obviously: automobile know-how. In part due to my father (who would in fact admit it) I possess remarkably limited knowledge of cars. I can replace fluids and check levels, etc.--but if anything goes wrong I'm clueless and I'm forced to rely on the local car repair shop for just about the minutest of mishaps. Second, football. I enjoy football. I enjoy playing football. I enjoy watching football. I've never really been the obsessive, know-all-the-players, know-all-the-stats, remember-all-the-games/plays/seasons type of fan. I've kind of found myself intimidated, or worse, put off by conversations with people that are. But this year, for perhaps the first time, I'm legitimately excited for the rapidly approaching college football season! Maybe it's the influence of college roommates, or maybe I've just been worn down into submission with a football crazed society and a football crazed state. But for whatever reason, healthy or not, I am! ...Unfortunately,... now that I'm moving to Chicago in month, this will be my first fall season away from Nebraska, my friends and family with whom I would otherwise now be able to enjoy it all! Dangit! Oh well, perhaps it will become a means to acquiring other friendships... hmmm.

Review: "Heart of Darkness"

I wanted to throw out a recommendation while I can--Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness." Heather (one of my housemates and long-time friend from high school) bought a book for me for my birthday--which i already had, haha. So i exchanged it for "Heart of Darkness." I love classics and this was one I heard was good but had never before taken the opportunity to read. I've now only read the first 80 pages or so--but I love it. Conrad is an amazing writer, eloquent and profound. What amazes me still is that English was not his first language. Anyway, if you get the chance, take it. Perhaps I'll review it a bit more once I've finished the book. Stay posted :).

Life Lately...

So lately my life has been a busy mix of work, Courtney's family, and preparation for Chicago. Work's work. My last day is a month from today and I'm ready for it. Don't get me wrong, I love the people--some of whom I've seen five days a week for 14-and-a-half months now--and it will be an abrupt change to be suddenly done and gone I'm sure. But I was not meant to be a banker. To be honest I'm craving with increasing measure the opportunity to experience a greater purpose in the vocation i pursue on a day-to-day basis.

Two weekends ago Courtney and I traveled to Yankton to her grandma 'Honey's' cabin along with her mother, aunt, uncle and his wife, and most of their kids. We had such a good time. I could probably write an entire blog-entry to two about experiencing the fascinatingly different dynamics of a family other than my own after spending a weekend in the same cabin with all 13-or-so of them. Enlightening stuff, let me tell you. Then last weekend we had Courtney's niece's first birthday party--which is apparently a HUGE deal. Am I the only one not aware of the monumental event that a child's first birthday is? Help me out here. Family traveled from Minnesota and multiple friends attended with their kids for the afternoon-long event. First there was lunch and every one of the thirty-or-so individuals had to get their time with Julia (the birthday girl), craziness ensues as other kids run about, we pause for singing 'happy birthday' and the child dives into her own little cake before everyone enjoys their cake and ice cream. We watch slide show of the baby's first year, mill about again before the hour-or-so saga that is opening presents from everyone. I don't remember the last time I had an event such as that centered around me--probably because I was one year old, eh? Anyway, after about 3-and-a-half hours I finally had to escape for isolation and a short nap. Afterwards, we were off to visit some of Courtney's mom's relatives at a restaurant called Surfside just north of Omaha on the east side along the river. It was a great place, they served fried chicken or fried catfish... that was it. But it was GOOD! you eat along the river and people boat by and, apparently in the name of tradition, moon you and all the other 'surfsiders' as we enjoy our beer and fried fish. Good times!

As to Chicago. I feel the time is quickly approaching. I've been working on loans and budget preparations, the details of my living situation with my uncle and his family (yay!), scheduling the orientation events and whatnot for the advent of the new school year--it's all very exciting and a bit overwhelming. But as I said, I feel more and more ready for it. It's time. I'm just praying to keep perspective. I really desire to see what I gain from this next year used in a (perhaps) unique way, commingled with Truth to develop real insights and answers to international conflict and resolutions. If I believe the Bible to be true and that Truth to be pervasive, it must apply to all aspects of life. The problem is that for me to live and believe in such things, means that i'm living my different rules than the world. I would like to see those rules merge in a way that makes sense to the world through academic endeavors. This is my hope. You can pray with me over that. I'll keep you posted as this all becomes more clear in time. Thanks for reading!