Saturday, March 27, 2010

A Career?

So it's been a while since I've posted, sorry, I've been meaning to for some time now. The crux of the issue is, life is good!

Work is going well. I'm still going through a lot of training, but that will be the case for the better part of this year. I like the people I work with, though, and I'm genuinely interested in what I'm doing. That's an exciting thing to feel like you've found something you want to do... and actually getting to do it besides! The weird thing is--what I did not foresee--was the realization that this could be where I/we end up. So much of your life, particularly in academics, is the sense that you're working toward a goal, a career that you want to do. You work hard to complete a class, a semester, a year, a degree, to move on to the next step, one closer to your goal. The thought then occurred to me a few weeks ago, "What if this is it?"

Now I realize this is extremely premature and short sighted. I only just got here! Also, the truth is there are a lot of opportunities and directions I can go from here. More mini-goals exist within a varied number of career paths. Heck, I may only be here a few years and then discover something completely new, or something related but for a different organization and/or purpose. But I think what hit me was the slightest sensation of panic at being trapped, "What if I'm locked in?" I work with people who have been there 25-30 years. My reaction to these people is a subconscious mixture of respect AND horror--"you've been in the same place 30 years?" Admittedly, people do this all the time. Maybe it's a distinctly generational mindset. Perhaps the 30-year-commitment-to-one-employer thing is less likely to be the case for me and my millennial generation compadres. Who knows?

Wow, I hadn't planned on writing this when I sat down, haha. All this to say, in my typical abstract fashion, I'm extremely happy (and blessed) to be where I am; and, I'm excited to see where all of this goes. Maybe I'll be 'here' for 30 years, maybe 5. But it's not like I'm signing my life away. I don't think this is "it." There's much more to come, and probably in places and directions I could never anticipate. God only knows. Thank God for that.

- L