Getting Political... Hesitantly

It's time. I've avoided it for long enough. I'm ready.

Let me begin by saying that this is not an effort to convince anyone to join a side. Political affiliation is not the issue, per se. Rather it is the desire to consider Biblical truths as a pretext to taking stances on issues deemed political--knowing where I stand and how I should behave in a culture that is inherently political. The issues considered in the political arena are, more often then not, real and important issues before they are political ones adopted by one or more sides of a contest. Deciding what we believe and how we will respond to that belief are more important than determining which team is right or better.

For nearly a year in Chicago, I was confronted with a decidedly liberal, academic-political culture, the substance of which (you may be surprised to hear) was not all bad. (This is where Johnny feels vindicated in considering me a 'closet liberal.' Which I do not believe I am.) However, I feel particularly justified in deciding for myself where I will stand in the matters of politics--particularly as I pursue a field of political science. I have grown up especially conservative in a remarkably conservative state and culture. The opportunity to encounter something different was and is (I believe) a healthy thing. Now that I have returned to Nebraska, I realize that I am now changed for it.

The liberal left, often cited with disdain in these parts as though it were the embodiment of evil, has a lot to offer Christians and the morally conscious among us. No, all of the things considered among the list of the 'liberal platform' are not in agreement with what I believe to be Biblical and of sound moral repute. Consequently, I am still quite certain that conservatives have generally done well in their stances against issues like abortion and homosexuality--though how they have frequently handled and promoted such positions are questionable indeed. But I digress. Where they have missed the mark and where many Midwestern Christians have also fallen short (in my opinion) is their (and by 'their' I also mean 'my') Biblical consideration for where we should stand on many economic, social and international issues. In consideration of these issues I am motivated particularly by a repeated, New Testament exhortation to the Church, to assist those less fortunate than ourselves...

(In an effort to do justice to what I am about to address, I'm afraid I must go for now. I want the time to think and word this well. Where might I be going with this? I appreciate any thoughts so far.)

Sociably Married

Last night we had friends over, many of whom were married, and I was struck by how much this felt like a new phase in my life. Nevermind that in the last month I have been sharing a bed with someone else, constantly consulting that person to make decisions, and repeatedly encountering situations where I have to say no to someone because my time is better served elsewhere and for said other person. But hanging out with other married couples in our home, discussing things that married couples do--weddings, relating to each other, dealing with marriage difficulties, etc.--that was the impetus for my epiphone.

In my mind my life is fairly easily categorized into the social groups I have been surrounded by: Norfolk and its various subdivisions through gradeschool, junior high, and high school; Lincoln and the groups that seemed to subtly change each year as new people were introduced and old ones moved on; Chicago; and now Lincoln again... Lincoln, married. Now I'm starting to relate to people not as just myself, but myself as half of part of a greater whole... and I LOVE that!

I feel it necessary to mention that there are those people in my social circle have spanned many if not all of these social periods in my life, and for them things have not changed too much yet. The history understood between us is not quickly altered.

Overall, I am struck with the sense that this is good. I am where I am supposed to be. God is good. And, in that space of my mind, I am content.

The "Ol' Ball n Chain"

Well, I'm married now. I have three weeks under my belt and so far, so good. The quiet, slow-paced honeymoon in Colorado was just what we needed after a hectic, wedding weekend. And now I enjoy having a wife to come home to... or rather, with whom to come home. Since I totaled my car more than a month ago, Court and I have been driving to work and home together each day. It's actually a great arrangement and really nice to have the same schedule. Doing day-to-day things together is a joy in marriage I've learned to appreciate so far.

However, this is about to change. I am excited to inform you all that I have recently received a promotion. As of November 24th, i will begin as the Full Time, Assistant Supervisor for the branch i used to work for before leaving for Chicago, N. 27th. With this change so will my schedule, leaving me all of two weeks to find another car. But, the raise will be nice and the opportunity to have a supervisory position will help the resume a bit. This position will require a lot more training and work, but it will be good for me.

That said, this does not mean I've abandoned aspirations of research and a future in political science. I'm still doing research for a political science professor, Dr. Ari Kohen at UNL. We're planning to present our publication at the Midwest Political Science Association Conference in Chicago, April 2nd-5th. The opportunity to do research and potentially contribute to a publication is huge for me. We're working on post-genocide Rwanda. I'm currently developing a theoretical distinction between political and personal reconciliation... and the greater necessity of the former for rebuilding Rwanda. There's a lot to do, but I'm enjoying the process.

Well, that should catch us up a bit. Hopefully the next post will come again soon. I'm also hoping for this to be less of a "this is what's going on in my life" type of blog but there usually seems to be so much to catch you all up on that I can't help it. Here's to more thoughtful, clever and eloquent future entries. Cheers.

Pre-marital thoughts

So we're nearly there... less than 1 week till the big day. It's crazy when you get a moment to think about where you are now and how much that will permanently change after a single event. I believe I'm ready... as ready as one can be... but I also know there's no way one can be "prepared" for something like marriage--in the sense that I know I can't know exactly what to expect and how to respond to every event and situation that will come, etc. But I know God has been preparing me and supporting me through everyone around me in my life and particularly these last few months and years. I've already been challenged to the core a few dozen times in the last few weeks as Courtney and I have dealt with the stress of wedding planning and being in such close proximity to each so constantly even though we're not yet married or living together. Still, I'm excited to see how God changes me and her as we begin this new phase of our lives and see the things that God has already accomplished in us come to the fore in our life together.

Enought Said (for the moment)

I'm getting married in two-and-a-half weeks.

Things begin to settle... for now

I've finally found my routine, or at least the first inklings. It was lost for several weeks but I've almost found it again. I started working at Union Bank again last week. After enduring the monotony of refresher training and random scheduling through much the week, I will begin the 7:00AM-3:30PM shift tomorrow. I'm excited about the shift, but I think it will take a few weeks to adjust to 5:30AM alarm clocks again. I've also begun a few volunteer research projects for a young, professor Kohen at UNL in the political science department--for which I'm really excited. The opportunity to do research has made accepting the bank job bearable in many respects.

34 days and counting till Courtney and I are married... wow! There's so much to do, but things are coming along nicely. Apparently our reception hall that's currently being built, was behind schedule but they called to let us know they've caught up a bit last week. So... hopefully there'll be heating/air conditioning, haha. Marriage counseling and the 'Marriage Builder' class at Grace Chapel are in full swing and we're both enjoying those immensely. (BTW I apologize for the short window of opportuntiy to RSVP for the wedding... long story. We had intended to leave more time).

It was fun to attend Heather and Nate's wedding last night both for the joy in sharing in that experience with them and the anticipation of our own 'party' that'll be here before we know it. We're both genuinely excited to have all or most our good friends back together for a crazy-but-jovial couple of days.

Well, hopefully this new-found consistency in my life will mean a return to consistency in blogging... and to a better quality at that. Good to be back.

A Plea

Oh attentive Blogosphere, forgive me for my negligence. Condemn me not for my busyness, nor for my inconstant behaviour. Patiently preserve your interest and forget me not in my absence. I will return.

The Long Transition

It seems so much is still up in the air. No word on jobs as of yet. I'm now in plan B mode... find a job in Lincoln. Yes, it seems with the way things are going, Courtney and I will be in Lincoln for at least the next year. In some ways I'm a bit disappointed that the opportunities I have been pursuing out East have not yet moved anywhere, but on the other hand, I can see so many reasons why God would have us be here in Lincoln instead--our great church, closeness to family, friends, etc. All of these things could be helpful in our transition to being a married couple as well I think. Still, what that means for jobs is a bit uncertain. In all likelihood, it may mean working at the bank again and doing volunteer research stuff at the University. Best case scenario, I find something paid or a teaching position at Southeast Community College (I can teach now that I have an M.A., go figure). I would like to avoid working at the bank again if at all possible. But, it's an option all the same. So my day-to-day struggle remains trust in God's sovereignty over my job and the career I feel like I'm heading (or trying to head) into, given marriage, and our financial situation. Praise God that He is sovereign.

The Long and Short of It

So I realize it's been a while... I apologize. The irregularity of my present life is making the regularity of blog posting an even greater accomplishment--of which I am having little success. So here's the long and short of it...

For the 4th, Court and I traveled to Minneapolis to visit our good friends Tate and Brenna with our other good friends, Jeff and Nicole. It was an amazing weekend, full of canoing and lots of eating. Good times were had by all.

Since then Courtney has been working like a dog and I have been trying to keep up. She was in Rushville, Nebraska for most of the last week teaching at a theatre camp. I've been working here and there, doing construction and landscaping stuff for my uncle who's building a new house in Norfolk. More recently, I have been refinishing decks and doing fix-it projects for a family friend at his cabin in Yankton. It's been great to get some work in the midst of the job hunt (still no leads, ugh) and in anticipation of the wedding.

This weekend has been great. After finishing one project at said cabin in Yankton, I traveled a mere six miles west of there to Courtney's family cabin to help them paint and do some fix-it projects there as well. It was a good opportunity to connect a bit with the future in-laws and earn a few points there, haha. It was nice to work with other people for a change as well. We had our fun too, boating on the lake yesterday and today. (I almost did a barrel roll on the tube... on purpose!) I only just returned from Yankton tonight and I'll be heading to Lincoln on Wednesday to recommence the wedding planning and job-hunt efforts... and to see my fiance for the first time in over a week!!!

Essentially my life as jumping from one place to the next only long enough to get somewhat settled before moving again. For those of you who know me well, this is not my ideal routine. But, God is good.

Even Better News!

The phone calls have been made, family and friends contacted in various ways as best as possible, and now perhaps it is safe to notify the blogosphere... I'm engaged! I asked Courtney to marry me on June 14th, a Saturday, the day after my graduation. I prepared a picnic for us at a local park late that morning. It was her 22nd birthday the Tuesday before, so I gave her a few gifts to throw her off a bit, should she be expecting anything. We then enjoyed conversation and a light lunch for the better part of an hour-and-a-half as people occasionally passed. I wanted to enjoy the moment and not rush anything... also, I didn't really want an audience If I could avoid it. So I waited. When a moment seemed to present itself, no people passing by, I told her that before we go I wanted to give her a journal since I hadn't given her a card for her birthday. In it, I had written something from before we had even started dating. It was somewhat poetical and about who I wanted to be and the kind of girl I wanted to be with. She read it, I told her that she was the girl I wrote about in the journal, and I asked her to stand. Then it began to feel surreal. I got nervous. I stood with her and told her I loved her for the first time before grabbing the ring from my bag by my side and kneeling to ask her to marry me. She said yes! We kissed and laughed at the thought of what had just happened.

Arriving back at my aunt and uncle's home where I had been living, my family greeted us with Champagne and dessert. That afternoon we went off to enjoy wine tasting at a nearby winery and a play in Chicago that evening before some friends from the University met us at Jimmy's Bar near campus for a few drinks. It was an amazing and exhausting but completely wonderful day!

The next morning we packed up everything and moved me back to Nebraska. I'm home now, between Norfolk and Lincoln, wedding planning, job hunting, and enjoying family and my engagement. Life is very exciting (and sometimes scary, haha) right now. Praise God for moments in life like these!

Call Me Master

Yesterday I graduated. It was incredible to be led by Scottish Bagpipes through the crowd of friends and families of the 2008 graduates into the outdoor, Harper quadrangle of campus. We were surrounded by ivy covered halls and a sense of the tradition that continued in the 494th convocation at the University of Chicago. The ceremony lasted about 2 hours. The speaker seemed to have a bit of a liberal agenda--OK, overtly so. But it was soon forgotten. It was forgettable. They honored one of my professors for excellence in graduate teaching, among a handful of others. They read each of our names as we walked to receive our diploma from the President of the University before the bagpipes led us out of the Harper quadrangle into the main quad and around the roundabout. It was good. It was memorable.

We then took pictures and convened at a champagne reception for my program and our neighboring MAPPS program, another social sciences program. The night was completed by dinner at Maggianos with my family, Courtney, and my aunt, uncle and cousins. It's an amazing Italian restaurant here in Chicago. We had a great time. The day was good.

Awkward Week Update

The last week has been weird. I've been so used to being busy and overwhelmed with classes and a thesis, it's been a dramatic turn of events to feel so overwhelmingly bored. I have managed to keep myself occupied for the most part--finishing the new trim for my aunt and uncle's new window, finally installing the towel racks that have been sitting in boxes outside my room for the last six months, packing things to move home, running, lifting, and watching a lot of the Euro 2008 soccer tournament on ESPN360.com. Oh yeah, and I'm trying to start reading "Moby Dick." I feel like with all of this time, I should be posting on my blog more regularly, but I haven't felt that inspired to write without too much going on. I haven't really known what to do with myself.

But, there should be a lot to come. My uncle, cousins and I will be heading to the city to explore a bit tomorrow morning, so that will be fun. My family and Courtney arrive on Thursday, and My graduation ceremony is Friday--an outdoor ceremony on a potentially rainy afternoon, yikes. Sunday, I move home! There's plenty more to come.

Finally, today is Courtney's birthday! My beautiful girlfriend of more than two years, today is 22 years old! She has to work most of the day, but if you think of it, those of you who know her should e-mail or text her if you can. I know she would greatly appreciate it. Happy Birthday, Babe!

El Fin... for now

As of 1:20 PM, yesterday, June 4, 2008, I am done. The whirlwind of the last 9 months has seemed to come to an abrupt end. Now, I am leisurely enjoying the Semi-finals of the French Open without the guilt of required reading and papers hanging over my head--a new reality to which I am still adjusting. The next week will involve packing and preparing to go home. The Graduation ceremony is a week from tomorrow, for which my family and Courtney will be here. Then i will return home to keep up the job hunt. I'm still in the process of applying to the CNA Corporation (www.cna.org) in Alexandria, Virginina, which seems to be promising. But I will pursue other avenues as well. I think it will be nice to return home for a little R & R before heading off into the next adventure.

So Close and Feeling so Far

So I have two papers to complete and I'm done... well, one now really. I have a paper due on Tue. this week, which is pretty much done, and another on Wednesday which I am trying to write now. But writing these papers has felt like I'm pulling out my own teeth, to add to the euphemism. I feel like I'm forcing myself to write and fighting the urge to just fill space with words that appear to make sense but really accomplish nothing for showing actual thought and effort. What compels me is the desire to finish well... that and each of these papers alone is responsible for the grade I receive in each of these classes. Is this 'senioritis?' Why does this happen? Thoughts, please?

International Olympic

I went out with a majority of my CIR colleagues to see improv at International Olympic (IO) in Wrigleyville on Saturday night. It was good to hang out with everyone. The improv was surprisingly good as well. I still need to check out Second City to compare. Anyway, below is a link to some pictures from the Saturday evening, both at dinner and the show. Cheers!

http://flickr.com/photos/joshuaswu/sets/72157605262896970/

I love this guy

The Monkey's Off My Back!

So life has been crazy. I was back in Nebraska the weekend before last for Courtney's UNL graduation. I drove back to Chicago last Monday and arrived Monday night to attend an information session for a potential job and class on Tuesday. Tuesday night I did laundry and packed again to fly BACK to Nebraska on Wed. night for my littlest sister's high school graduation. (I had booked the tickets weeks ago). First though, I had an interview at 9:00 AM on Wednesday for said potential job on U of C campus (the Center for Naval Analysis (CNA) in Alexandria, Virginia... it went well I think). The interview finished at 10:00, in time for me to make my 3-hour, 10:30 class. I had lunch and made my way by bus to the airport from campus. My flight was delayed an hour, but mind you I had a thesis due on Friday--I needed all the spare time I could manage. Courtney picked me up at the airport in Omaha and we made our way back to Lincoln.

Thursday and Friday were mostly comprised of feverish writing and editing. I finished my thesis and sent it via e-mail to my faculty adviser and preceptor at 4:00 on Friday in time to pack up my things and meet a friend at 4:30 to give me a ride back to Norfolk. IT'S DONE!! The weekend was full of graduation open house preparations, the open house on Sat. evening, and the graduation on Sunday--though the pace and work were much more enjoyable. It was really good to be home. Courtney was able to join us in Norfolk by Sat. evening and she took me to the airport on Monday of this week to return to some normalcy here in Chicago. Sheesh. I now have two papers to complete for each of my remaining courses in the next two weeks and then I'm done!! Can you believe it? Graduation's June 13th! The fam and Court will be driving over here for my Graduation weekend and then... I don't know yet. I'm still waiting to here about the CNA job and I need to apply a few other places. I'll do my best to keep you updated. Right now, I need to start a paper. Cheers!

Good Music

Check out the new Death Cab for Cutie song, "I Will Possess Your Heart," from their new album (released yesterday), "Narrow Stairs." Great song. Great album.

Note to self...

When possible, avoid asking a professor to be your thesis adviser when he lives in Israel nine months out of the year.

'Four Minutes' of Non-Art

I want to take a moment to abuse this personal blog as a platform for opinions. Have you heard the recent Madonna/Justin Timberlake song, "Four Minutes" produced by Timbaland? It's awful. And, I feel as someone who has actually enjoyed certain, past, joint musical efforts by JT and Timbaland, I possess a legitimacy in the assertion. Besides possessing a nearly identical beat and song structure to past works, the song is completely devoid of lyrical substance or creativity. Granted, it's a song developed for the hip-hop/pop/dance genre. And, it is catchy--which is part of the point, I recognize. (Good luck getting it out of your head once you've heard it.) However, the line must be drawn somewhere. Even popular music should be held accountable to creative scrutiny at some level. There, I've said my peace. Back to the thesis.

Lake Front 10

My friend Carolyn and I ran the Chicago Lake Front 10 this morning, a ten-mile race along Lake Michigan in the city. Carolyn's in my program at UChicago and the niece of Tim Keller, for those of you for whom that means anything. We got together with some other CIR friends last night for a pasta dinner/carb-load fest, then got up at the ***-crack of dawn to get parking before the race. (Hence the bed-head). Anyway, it was fun! I met my goal (1:04) and she exceeded her's, running something like 1:24. I'm in recovery now, trying to get some work done for classes this week (of course excluding this procrastinatory moment).

In other news, my thesis is due in less than two weeks and I present my draft to my thesis group tomorrow night--yikes!!!

Another Door Closed

I found out this morning that I was not accepted for the International Alert internship position. It's disappointing to be rejected, but I had reservations about moving to London for another 6 months. So, I'm OK with it. Back to the hunt!

P.S. I finished and submitted the first draft of my thesis on Saturday morning!

Surprises and Opportunities

Now into my third week of this quarter, things are off and running--even literally. I'm contemplating running in the Lake Front Ten, a ten-mile run along Lake Michigan here on April 27th. Though I have yet to officially register. It's prime thesis writing time so we'll see if I feel I can spare the time.

With the pressure of the end of my academic career quickly approaching (for now), jobs are on the forefront of my mind. I've only just attended a job fair on campus and talked to a number of government and non-profit organizations. Another important fair will be coming up in two weeks or so that I'll be sure to attend as well. I'm beginning to realize though, that internships will most likely be the route to take in my pursuit of a career. Many entry level positions in the job market I'm hoping to enter even require internship experience. That said, paid internships are few and far between. It may require that I just work somewhere to pay the bills and 'volunteer' for an internship position 15-20 hours a week.

However, I did just recently apply for a 6-month paid internship with International Alert, an NGO based out of London. So yes, it would mean working in London for 6 months. Simply put, the nature of the position is ideal. It's a research assistant position, aiding the secretary general in international research, collecting sources and compiling bibliographies over regions of conflict all over the world in a effort to develop solutions for peace. Check out http://www.international-alert.org/ if you want more details. Basically, the position is a step toward what I really want to do. I'm not sure when I'll know if I'm accepted or not or even if I'll take it if I am accepted. Though from what I understand of it, I think it's a pretty good example of what I would like to do. I will do my best to keep you updated.

In other news, I flew home (Lincoln) this weekend to surprise Courtney and attend the final production of her UNL career. I hadn't made a show yet this year--it was fun to see her perform again. She did very well; and she was very surprised. It was a quick trip, but really good to see her and family as well. I had a lot of time with my parents (which was a good thing) who picked me up from the airport as well as my extended family--we celebrated my grandparents' 60th anniversary in Beatrice on Sunday afternoon.

Well, I should probably go. My first draft of my thesis is due Friday and I have quite a bit to do--so I'll be busy. Hope this finds you all well!

Baking with my Courtney (SB '08!)

On my way

My third and final quarter officially commenced this week, and after much deliberation I think I've finally nailed down my last courses! Due to limits on the size of the seminar, I'll find out at noon today if the prof will let me in "Death, Mourning, and the Politics of Self-Sacrifice in the Middle East"--a class I'm really excited for and hoping I can take. Also, I decided to take "The Just War Tradition," a political philosophy course on Just War theory that considers early influences and writings like that of Augustine! I think it will be very interesting. My third course will be a thesis reading course, which basically suggests I take only two courses and focus the remainder of my time on my thesis. This also means, I only have one class on Tuesdays and another on Wednesdays... that's it! While that sounds like a slacker's schedule, I'm sure to need every minute of spare time for my thesis to have a rough draft completed in two-and-a-half weeks and a final draft in just over a month from now! Nine more weeks and I have my M.A.!!!

Don't ask, "then what?" I haven't the foggiest right now. But I do know I'm not going to Cairo for the Arabic program. I just got the e-mail last week. In fact no one who applied from my program was accepted. I was disappointed, but also relieved a bit to know something definite and have more space to see friends, family, find a job, participate in weddings, and transition out of graduate school a bit less abruptly.

In other news, I'm considering participating in Chicago's 10-mile Lake run along Lake Michigan at the end of April. I only just started "training" this week, so we'll see how that goes before I commit.

Also, I feel an apology is in order. My hope was that this blog would be a means to develop more illuminating thoughts and observations that serve relevant cultural discussions at some level. Hopefully I'll find time to write less schedule-type, life event lists and contribute more meaningful postings. But for now, back to thesis work.

Catching Up

It's been an eventful two weeks! I finished out the winter quarter with a slam-bang, comprehensive final on St. Patrick's Day and then proceeded to go out with others from my program (and including Courtney) to Wrigley Ville to celebrate. Let's just say it was more of a college experience than what I actually experienced in college. It was fun but exhausting. Anyway, next day, Courtney and I returned to the city for dinner and a show at the Steppenwolfe--a well known live theatre company and venue in north Chicago. We had a blast! That was Tuesday. Thursday, we left to return to Nebraska. Courtney had flown in on a one-way ticket so we could drive back. We spent Easter weekend with family, first with her's, then mine, and then her with her's again. It was much needed, quality time.

Then, I had planned to return to Chicago to focus on my thesis last Tuesday, two days after Easter. I discovered that I could still get work done in Lincoln and ended up delaying my return until Sunday, go figure. It was great to have the extended time with Courtney and a few other friends, and still get work done! I did drive back on Sunday in time to do laundry and get ready for my first day of classes on for my last quarter on Monday, yesterday. Today, I've already missed my train, haha. I set my alarm for 5:30 PM and not AM; and since I haven't had to get up at that ungodly hour for some time, I didn't wake up till 7:00. Dangit. But, i was probably going to drop the class anyway, so it's ok. Today and tomorrow will be largely comprised of visiting courses and trying to nail down which classes I want/need to take since I'll only be taking two and working on my thesis to have in completed by May 9th if I can! Pray for diligence!

New Zealand Nonsense... gotta love it!

Don't ask how or why I have time to find these things. Can you tell it's the last week of the quarter and I'm stressed out with three papers and an exam?

It's scary how much of this is true

You Just Might Be a Graduate Student If...

you can identify universities by their internet domains.
you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.
you have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have footnotes.
you understand jokes about Foucault.
the concept of free time scares you.
you consider caffeine to be a major food group.
you've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.
Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
the professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.
you've ever traveled across two state lines specifically to go to a library.
you appreciate the fact that you get to choose *which* twenty hours out of the day you have to work.
you still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you'll get over it).
you can read course books and cook at the same time.
you schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come.
you hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying in.
you've ever worn out a library card.
you find taking notes in a park relaxing.
you find yourself citing sources in conversation.
you've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the internet.
you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
you look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
you consider all papers to be works in progress.
professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
you reflexively start analyzing those Greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade."
you start referring to stories like "Snow White, et al."
you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.
you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
you wonder whether APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication."

The Good Ol' Days

I know I have already posted once today, but it can't be helped. I feel compelled. I've been listening to "old" worship music all day as I've been writing and studying and as a result I'm finding myself frequently overwhelmed with memories from my music past. Music from Sud.z worship to Cru and Greekside, and finally Grace Chapel. Songs like "Shane and Shane - You Said," "Waterdeep - You Are Beautiful," "Ten Shekel Shirt - Unashamed Love," "Starfield - Filled With Your Glory," "Delirious - My Glorious," "Jars of Clay - Faith Like a Child/Worlds Apart" (these remind me of Jesse Davy--that was a while ago, ehh Jess :), speaking of JOC, "the Valley Song," "Kutless - Better is One Day," "S&S - In the Secret," "Downhere - Great are you"... I could go on and on.

Needless to say, I've been steeped in hopeless sentimentalism all day. Each song brings back a flood of fond memories of the hours spent practicing, selecting songs, and "performing" at various events. Many of the people involved who interacted with me so much and have had an impact on my life in differing and meaningful ways... from Raul, the Davys... now including Michel and Crystal, Jay, Jeff Cloud, Dez, Joe Heider, Aaron of course, Kous, Poopy pants McChance (haha), Martha & Ernie, Browny, Parks (I know I'm excluding too many people)... the list goes on. I'm resisting the urge to write, "Thank you for the memories" and seal the deal on this cheesy memorandum. It's crazy to think about now for some reason, though--the feeling of playing on a night when everything goes well and everyone's into. Or the nights when everything goes wrong and your reminded of your fallen humanity, en masse. The outside opportunities to perform (i.e. the unforgettable A-Phi Fiesta). The few but exhilarating opportunities to record. I miss it all. Music, though lately absent, has been and will remain, God willing, an essential in my life. I needed to say this. Thanks.

Tacit Tensions and Anticipated Times

There seems to be a growing, implicit sense of urgency as I approach the end of my second of three quarters. Two weeks from now, my classes will be completed for the quarter--3 papers and a final exam yet to complete. I am also officially in critical, thesis crunch time. I have a month and half to write the sucker and my thesis adviser will return to Israel in two weeks leaving me extremely limited face-to-face time. It is good that I will have nearly two weeks off between this and the next quarter to devote my energies to serious writing--though my time will not be wholly spent on studies.

In the midst of it all, the need to consider the future is also feeling pressing. It turns out I have missed my best opportunity to pursue the State Department next year, the Presidential Management Fellowship, though it is not out of the question for the following year (hopefully). I do expect to hear of the Critical Language Scholarship opportunity in Cairo in the next 3 weeks or so, which could help begin to clarify things. As I consider post-Chicago options and interests, whether jobs or further schooling, it seems like things are beginning to point in the direction of D.C.--a place I don't think even seriously crossed my mind a year ago. We will have to see.

But, despite these tensions and expectations, it is an exciting time of life. Yesterday I talked with a Civil Service Agent with the State Department in the Nuclear Proliferation and WMD program, a CIR alum (my program) from 2003. Hearing her talk about her job was exciting to think about in terms of my own future. A part of me perhaps never thought about venturing terribly far from home (NE) for very long outside of academics, and I feel my ability to allow myself to think bigger has been recently growing. We will see what God has in store. Isn't it an interesting journey?

I Can't Get Enough of This Guy

A much-needed break

It was so good to be home! For the first time since coming to school in Chicago, I did almost no homework on a weekend during a quarter--and it was worth it! I'm paying the price for it now of course. But I needed the break.

Courtney's mother made us a wonderful meal on Valentine's Day evening after Courtney picked me up from the airport. We then started the classic movie, "Gone with the Wind," a four-hour marathon of a film that we had to finish the following morning--good lines, semi-depressing story. Friday, Court had class and I finally got a haircut, moved my things into my aunt and uncle's home, and rested a bit from a busy week. I picked Court up from class and we went out that night for dinner before catching up with Ben and Crystal Davy at Bread and Cup in the Hay Market. We had great time with them. Saturday, it was quick workout in the morning with Jay Taylor and then off to Norfolk for the Winter Royalty festivities of my youngest sister Kalen, a senior this year. She was nominated for Winter Royalty queen--special because 1) she was completely surprised, and 2) I was nominated for the same event my senior year! It was fun to participate in that with my family. We got back late Sat. night and then I was up early again to go to Grace's early service Sunday morning. It was so good to be back. I have really missed the people and the ministry of Grace Chapel. Court and I met friends for coffee and then my old roommate/fellow banterer John for Jimmy Johns at his place. I flew back out of Omaha that evening to get home after ten and then up early Monday morning to start the next week. It was a crazy but encouraging weekend.

Funny how we NEED relationships, we NEED community.

UChicago

I finally joined the digital age, thanks to Christmas and my parents. These are a few pictures from the southern side of the University of Chicago campus--the side I tend to use mostly. More of the rest will come soon. I had about 20 minutes to kill before my bus left for home yesterday so I thought I'd take a few. You'll quickly notice it looks much colder than the cozy 65 degrees that a certain other blogger might be experiencing this time of year--I won't mention any names, you know who you are... (ahem, Tanner!).

This first one is a statue that stands on the south side of Harper Library--the "Harry Potter Library" as some refer to it. It's the old one. Most people use Regenstein for which i don't have pictures yet. Below is the Ice Skating Rink that sits in the middle of the Midway Plaissance on the south side of campus. I've heard it's only $2 to skate there! I haven't done that yet myself yet. Maybe when it's warmer.

Below is the famous Rockefeller Chapel. There's a big bell tower just behind but it's kind of unsightly with all of the scaffolding that's been covering it all year. You can kind of see the top corner of it from this view.


The right building in the picture above is the music school. Apparently anyone can check out piano rooms there. I've been meaning to do that. I had a class in the building on the left. I can't remember the name right now. Anyway, check out the sweet old doors. A lot of them are like that. Below are a few shots of the quad or near it.





Above, is the Divinity School from the side, there's a cemented, circular bench just in the foreground if you can see it. I have a class here and I eat Lebanese and other Mediterranean foods here for lunch all the time (mmmm... salmon kabobs!). These two pictures below are of my building, Pick Hall. It's the odd, non-gothic building on the corner. By "my" I mean this is where the Committee on International Relations (CIR) office and lounge remains on the third floor. I also have some classes here.


Anyway, I figure this is a good start. I hope you find this interesting. I'm sure there'll be more to come. If it's not too vain, (though I guess it's my blog so it may be appropriate--or at least appropriately vain), I'm contemplating doing a "day in the life" photo exposition, following a typical day of mine from early morning train rides, scary South Side "El" and bus tours, to the enlightening halls of the University and classic academia. Thoughts? I'm sure you'll all be captivated, haha. Cheers!

Good time to come home

So it turns out I get to come back to Nebraska for Valentine's Day weekend! It will have been 6 weeks at that point since I was home for Christmas break; and, though it seems like those weeks flew by, I'm ready to be home. Valentine's Day last year was Courtney's first day in Australia where she would remain for the following five months--we didn't really get one together. So, when I discovered the lull (as much as there can be in grad. school) in my academic schedule for the weekend, I jumped at the chance. I'm so excited to see her and be home!

To make it even better, my littlest sister, Kalen, was nominated as a Winter Royalty candidate and the coronation is the Saturday of that same weekend after Val's Day! Hopefully I will get to be in Norfolk briefly to see that--li'l sis followin in her big bro's footsteps :). (I was a Winter Royalty candidate my senior year as well).

Anyway, life here is good. I thought I would be swamped with three papers to finish in the two weeks before heading home, but surprisingly things haven't been too bad. Two more papers to go though. Which reminds me, I should get back to work. See some of you soon, hopefully. Cheers!

Change

I was going through some old files on my computer when I came across a file name I didn't recognize and that hadn't been opened since April of 2006. It is entitled Going Home. Pardon me if it seems a little too serious, I have my melancholy moments like everyone else (and maybe more than some others). But it struck me for the way it captured how I felt in a moment nearly two years ago, give or take a couple months, as college was coming to an end for me at UNL. It captures how I tend to react to change--something that I will deal with again soon (and fairly consistently hereafter). But, I thought I would take a risk and share it with you.

I tell myself as I leave that I’ll always remember this moment and feel the way I do now when I return, if I can return, that memories will be enough. I won’t be a fool. I know things must change for me to continue. This is my excuse to be sentimental, to ache at a remembrance of something I’ve lost. This is my rendition of transition from what I thought I knew so well and that could never end, to what remains so vague it scares me, excites me, despairs me, ignites me. A sorrow scattered hope explains me. Now resting and confident; now vulnerable and impotent. Beneath it all is the sense that a part of me is dying, or hiding dormant to be never awakened. Waiting for a change in me, an improvement that betrays direction—this sustains me, this place that awaits me. I am wounded but I am not dead.

I know it seems a bit much, haha, but it's how I felt. The memory and the moment intrigued me though, considering where I've been, what I've learned, and where I am going--even since then. Try it. Maybe consider a specific moment from the recent or distant past. Look where God has brought you and the hope you have for where He will take you from here.

Life in 'the hood'

Occasionally I have to take the "EL" to get to classes if I leave late enough in the day. It's sometimes a bit unnerving because campus is in Hyde Park--the south side of Chicago, the sketchier side. I take the Metra an hours' ride to the city then walk a few blocks from Ogilvie Transportation Center to the Green-Line stop on Clinton St. That line takes me about 35 minutes south to within a mile of campus but I usually wait for a bus that takes me straight there from the El stop, Garfield. Unfortunately, the Garfield stop is in a rough neighborhood and I usually have my expensive laptop with me (thankfully carried in a bag that looks like a normal backpack). There's a small grocery/liquor store there so you tend to see a lot of older men loitering around there drinking out of brown bags. I tend to get asked for money a lot at that stop as well.

Thursday was the first time I would have to take this route in over a month and some of the 'used-to-it' feeling had worn off. I had nearly reached the Garfield stop and remember thinking at about that point, "This isn't so bad," when I saw one man in the car a few seats in front of me quickly move closer to another man who had got on a few stops back. The two of them talked secretively and furtively glanced toward the conductor at the front of the car. Moving quickly to the two open seats four feet in front of me, they conveniently faced to my left so that I could observe everything going on between them. The newer passenger handed five or six little, clear plastic bags full of small, green-colored leaves to the other in exchange for a small wad of cash! A drug deal--I observed a drug deal on the El! Other passengers who knew what was going on acted as if nothing abnormal had just happened. In fact, one woman sitting directly facing the perpetrators asked the man who purchased the drugs if she could see them. He handed a couple of the packages to her and she closely looked them over and smelled them before giving them back. One would have thought they might have been just as easily purchasing food or a souvenir. I couldn't believe it. What do I do with that?

I got off at my stop, a little more paranoid than normal and trying to convince myself not to be irrational. Who was to meet me at the bus stop but Eric Johnston, or that's who he introduced himself to be. He wore a dirtied, dark wool coat, an old winter hat, worn pants, and stained boots. He appeared to be homeless but he made a point to say, "I wouldn't say that I'm homeless, but... I'm kind of in between living situations." Whatever that means. He proceeded to ask for me to pay the bus fare which he said "thank you" for before I actually agreed, haha. But I decided I could do that. I'd rather pay his fare than just give him cash. He said he had some business to do on the other side of the U of C campus and then talked almost non-stop from that point as we waited for the bus, through the bus ride (he sat next to me), and until I got off about how he was a jazz pianist and all the people he'd played with since he got out of the army. It was genuinely fascinating, I was just skeptical about how much of it I could believe.

Anyway, welcome back to the neighborhood, right? OK,it's not really my neighborhood, but I'm down there a lot.

In the Thick of it All Again

So, I'm nearing the end of my second week back and things seem crazier than ever. Upon my return, I received notification of a scholarship opportunity sponsored by the State Department. It's for an intense, critical language study program this summer abroad! So, of course I'm applying. Essentially, if I get it, it would mean an 8 week study of Arabic in Cairo starting immediately just before (yes before) the official end of my last quarter at U of C! Whatever I do next year, I have been realizing the need for and really wanting to learn a second language well. This would be a huge opportunity to do that as well as add some beef to my resume'.

With this scholarship application process, requiring multiple essays and academic recommendations from faculty I hardly know, I have been getting into classes as well. After a week-and-a-half of deliberation, I have finally decided (though not yet decidedly registered) on three courses. Arab-Israeli conflict, which will be a very interesting class with a very interesting, and dare I say stereotypical, foreign-accented, Jewish professor (he's great); US National Security Policy, which I have only been to once in four class sessions thus far (I'll get to it); and International Political Economy, a very dreaded and very required course for my program. All of which contribute to three days on campus a week and an already very busy work load.

Meanwhile, my Illinois family has been sick. The boys, Joseph and Joshy contracted a stomach flu and proceeded to give aspects of it to the rest of the household--including a visiting grandmother and great-grandmother (97 years old!!). So, yesterday (Tue.), on what was the day I had planned to complete one of three IPE papers due today already (Wed.), I writhed on my bed in pronounced, gastric pain for most of the day. Fortunately my professor gave me until tomorrow to complete the paper, which is actually essentially done now as I write. However, to accomplish this I decided not to attend the fourth session (and third class that I have now missed) of Security Policy. Also fortunately, I have good class mates that have agreed to give me notes.

My thoughts have also been stressfully consumed with plans for the future as I have been meeting with career counselors and planning to attend career fairs, which I also missed today. I don't know that it means much at the moment, but I am seriously considering pursuing foreign service with the State Department in the next couple of years. We'll see what happens! God Bless!

P.S. Sorry for the long posting. I had a lot to cover.

Back Again

Well, I'm back in Chicago and eager to get into a second quarter at the U of C (classes start Monday). I almost made it from Omaha on a single tank of gas without any stops. I say "almost" because I was about 30 minutes from my home here and my tank was on empty so I was forced to stop and get gas after 417 miles and about 6 straight hours of driving. I thought it was a good challenge. I have my fridge full of groceries, my car emptied, my Chipotle for dinner, and now I can finally hit the sack. It's good to be back.